Discussion of "Traffic Jam Chapter 2" by mm559

Holy Cow, mm!! This second chapter is absolutely the ****, man!! Great, great suspense. Tight line, perfect definition. And the suspense...whooeee! If you haven't finished chapter three or close to it....please do. 5 ain't enough, but it's all that's allowed!

Seriously…I absolutely have chills. This is fan-f’en-tastic. Start to finish. Riveting.
I have to comment on this first: The part where Jack goes off to investigate and converses internally with himself…absolutely brilliant!
This: “Where you going, Detective?”
And the paragraph that follows…perfect. Excellent bit of writing.
This is developing into a hell of a story. Terrific cliffhanger.
I’m betting you take this completely in a different direction with the next chapter and introduce new characters…right? Leave us completely hanging on what happens to Jack?
Huge 5 from me!