"Where are we going?", Emily was incredulous.  She pulled a strand of brown hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear.  She opened her eyes so wide that I thought they were going to fall out of her pretty face.   She asked me again.  "Where are we going!?"    Most days her eyes had this cool, sedated look to them.  They were calm--that was what I liked about them.  Slanted brown eyes nested like eggs between long, sharp eyelashes.  They were nice to look at.  But when those eyelids went up and those big browns came out, I was powerless. 

"Lucky Dragon", I muttered.  

The big browns blasted through me.  So you're dying, but all you can think of is Chinese buffet!?  My mom was right..

Ther is only one thing to do when a woman begins to quote her mother's infinite wisdom--space out.  I like to shut my mind off and pretend I'm a tree or something.  Blowing in the breeze, watching the honeybees take pollen from my flowers, birds are singing from my branches, joggers running by.  Wow, what a jackass. That guy is practically running in the middle of the street.  What are cars supposed to drive through him?  That car is going to flatten him.  That's when I remembered that I wasn't a tree anymore. We were headed right for him.

I grabbed the wheel and jerked it hard.  We darted across double yellow lines, missing the jogger by a hair.  The tires screamed in protest as Emily jammed the brakes.  Seeing her eyes were closed, I whipped us back into our rightul lane.  The jogger's obscenities lingered in the air, joining the smoke on thier ascension into the sky.  I looked at Emily--she was squeezing my arm.   

I yanked my arm away.  "Get off!"  Emily pulled over.    She was sweating profusely and could hardly breathe She opened her door and dry heaved.  No, no, no.  Not now, not her.  This is my mess...  Saliva rushed into my mouth.  I opened my door and threw up--hard.  Some of it came out of my nose.  Gross.  I assesed my own health.  Still feel like ****? Check.  Something wasn't right. We couldn't both have it, could we?  I looked at my arm again.  Long sleeves!  she had grabbed my shirt.  We didn't touch skin.

"Emily knock it off you're fine"  She chucked me a venomous look.  "Umm, no.  I touched you.  Remember?"  I didn't even reply, I just pointed to my long sleeves.  I could tell she was embarrassed.  The entire thing must've just been a production of her nerves.  Amazing what the mind can convince the body of.  She shifted the car into drive.  She was red. 

***************************************

We walked into the the restaraunt and the hostess led us to our table.  I'd be damned if she didn't lead us to table thirteen.  If there is a God then I'm willing to bet that he's up in heaven, sitting around with his buddies, drinking beer, and laughing at the joke, that I call my life. 

The waiter walked up and put on a full tooth smile."Hi, uh, you wanta da full buffay, Or uh justa da Dinna spesher?"  A giggle bounced around my throat, fighting my lips for it's freedom.  I'm not racist or prejudiced against anyone, but nothing makes me laugh like a forty year old Korean man with a heavy accent.  Ah, maybe farts , but old Asian men also crack me up. I don't know why.  They just do.  Emily sensed this and kicked me under the table.  I'm glad she was wearing sneakers, because I was wearing shorts. 

Emily asked for two buffets.  The waiter gave us two plates and she got up and fixed them.  She put a plate in front of me.  All my favorites.  I figured I'd still mess with her anyway.  "No ice cream cone?"  She ignored the question and asked,  "Seriously.  What's your plan?" I couldn't really tell her what I was actually planning on doing.  I didn't even want her to be here in the first place.  So I danced around the question.  "I'm going eat as much of this stuff as it takes to **** the disease out.  And according to my calculations that should be around two helpings."  She wasn't amused.  "Conrad, would you be serious for once?  You're dying."  I pounced on the oppurtunity to start a fight, hoping I could make her leave. "Yeah, no ****.  Thanks for reminding me.  Why'd you even come here?"-   "Because I want to be here for you."- "Yeah, well you're not helping.  She blinked back tears.  Fine then, I'm leaving."  Emily threw her napkin onto the table and stormed off.  Perfect.  I did not want her too see what I was about to do. 

I got up and headed for the bathroom.  I exchanged some awkward excuse me's and pushed on.  Then I saw her.  My target.  The owner of the Lucky Dragon.  Most of my friends simply reffered to her as "The Beast".  Her husband had passed and left the place to her.  She didn't really do anything, her kids ran the joint.  She was too miserable to do anything.  She wasn't your average "seventy percent of the people sitting on the subway" miserable.  That would have been manageable.  She was "I am too depressed to even kill myself" miserable  She just sat on her fat **** and grimaced at every living creature in her sight. 

The only words I ever heard her say were,"Too many mint!" She just sat by the register and made sure people didn't take too many lifesavers.  Everytime people would try to make a good grab she'd smack their hand. I'd gotten smacked before and was planning on getting smacked again today.  I looked into her eyes for a sign of life as I walked by.  Nothing.  They were a vaccuum, destroying light before it could pass through them.  

I finished my business in the bathroom and headed back to my table.  I rounded the corner, past the old bitch and there she was.  Emily never left.  Why did she have to be such a good chick?

I sat down.  "I'm staying with you", she said.  "Yeah, I kinda figured that".  Emily furrowed her brow.  "Well?"-  "Well what?"- "Well, what's your plan."  I looked the old monster, checking to see if she was still miserable.  She was. 

"I, uh, I'm thinking, uh, that-"  Emily cut me off, "Who?!"-  I pointed, being careful to conceal the fact that I was pointing out my victim.   "Her".  Emily was shocked, "Ms. Kim?"  That killed me.  I didn't want it to have a name.  She was supposed to just be some thing that hated it's life, not a lady with a name.  "Jesus, did you have to give her a name".  Reality sunk deep into to Emily, turning her white.    "Why her?", she whispered.  I couldn't believe she was asking me this.  "Are you kidding me?  Look at her.  She hates her life.  And I like mine, so I'm giving it to her.  Emily was freaked out.  "Are you going to give her the note?"  I dismissed her idea immediately.  "Just wait in the car.  Please?" I watched Emily sulk away.  Even her normally springy hair seemed to sag.  She walked past the register and out the door.  She didn't dare look at Ms.--her, on the way out. 

I realized that I hadn't eaten since work.  I wasn't hungry, but i was beginning to feel a bit dizzy.  I looked at my plate.  Sweet and sour chicken, rice, and a spring roll. This could very well be my last meal.  Never in a million years would I have thought that my last meal would be eaten at a shitty chinese buffet.  Then again most people's last meal is sugar water through a tube, with a little bit of salt.  I jabbed the spring roll with my chopstick.  Shrimp.  My favorite. 

I lifted my head from the toilet.  Shrimp.  My favorite.  My stomach felt like it was being wrung out.  I threw up again.  Bile.  Gross.  I rinsed my mouth out and washed my face.  I popped a stick of gum in my mouth and looked in the mirror.  "Enough of this, go get your hand slapped.  You got more to live for."  I pushed my way out of the western style double doors with a renewed sense of righteousness. 

I grabbed the check and headed over towards the counter.  I wasn't planning on giving her any note either.  I looked around at the other people eating.  I'd have given anything to switch places with any of these people.  It always sucks to watch other people when you're going through some serious ****.  Watching others smile freely, like they haven't got a care in the world.   It kinda reminded me of the time I got suspended for slashing the principal's tires.  I sat in the office waiting for my mom to pick me up and ream me out.  The whole time I waited I watched the other kids come and go through the office .  Sick note, late for school, switching demerit...big deal.  I was about get ear abuse from my mom then my **** kicked by my dad and all these kids floated around the school like nothing could ever bother them.  I hated it.  

I approached the register.  "It" was sitting there like a big mountain of misery.  The closer I got, the easier it was to hate it.  The long greasy hair couldn't hide her--I mean its round wretched face--wrinkles lining her face like strings holding her frown in place.  I dropped the bill on the counter...