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Discussion of "The Night Out (Very Adult Content)" by mjbelluto

2 synapto 7 years, 12 months ago Reply

See synapto comment on erotica. See synapto hesitate. See synapto branch out, eh JD?
Since this is a story and not a movie, I would expect you to provide certain details that film cannot. First of all, how does this happen? What is going through his mind? If we knew more about the narrator's thought processes, it would accentuate the erotic effect, IMO. Same for the others. Is there any of the four that is less comfortable? If so, focus on it for greater contrast. Convince me that this actually happened, even if it didn't.

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2 mjbelluto 7 years, 12 months ago Reply

Hey there, that is good feedback and I do not disagree with you and I did have some of that in there, but the character limit was too high, so I cut some of that out. I will try to work that out moving forward.

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1 TumbleThorn 3 years, 12 months ago Reply

poorly written porn

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