Discussion of "Pizza Delivery(adult content)" by mjbelluto

There's potential in here, but problems too. Some of the sex descriptions are very good. However, the story needs editing - there are grammatical errors, and narrative problems. If you like, I'd be happy to do an edit/rewrite of it, and give you more detailed help.

Hi,

I am not against that as I am aware of myself needing improvement in the area, however before I say Yes, and please do not be offended. Do you have anything you could show me that can be confirmed by someone that you have edited?

Thank You

Well, I think my own work speaks for itself. I've got one published novel, "Auntie Eva's Boarder" which you can read great big chunks of up on Google Books.

Nice story, the ending was the icing on the cake, or should I say the cheese on the pizza!

Thank You
xoxo

Appreciate the fact that you enjoyed it.