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Discussion of "Pizza Delivery(adult content)" by mjbelluto


1 makoallen 5 years, 11 months ago Reply

There's potential in here, but problems too. Some of the sex descriptions are very good. However, the story needs editing - there are grammatical errors, and narrative problems. If you like, I'd be happy to do an edit/rewrite of it, and give you more detailed help.


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1 mjbelluto 5 years, 11 months ago Reply

Hi,

I am not against that as I am aware of myself needing improvement in the area, however before I say Yes, and please do not be offended. Do you have anything you could show me that can be confirmed by someone that you have edited?

Thank You


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1 makoallen 5 years, 10 months ago Reply

Well, I think my own work speaks for itself. I've got one published novel, "Auntie Eva's Boarder" which you can read great big chunks of up on Google Books.


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1 xoxundefined 5 years, 10 months ago Reply

Nice story, the ending was the icing on the cake, or should I say the cheese on the pizza!


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1 mjbelluto 5 years, 10 months ago Reply

Thank You
xoxo

Appreciate the fact that you enjoyed it.


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