Discussion of "The Breakdown" by mikelnationstudios

Neat little story, MNS...;o)

You're very good at descriptive detail and running the plot from point A to B. Although not particular "exciting" you still held my interest. I was expecting something unexpected, but that didn't happen...maybe in a subsequent chapter?

A couple of nits. Your sentence structure often seems a little clunky...meaning they didn't flow well, not for lack of description or anything, but the "wordsmithing" could use a little fine tuning. And, it's always a good idea to separate quotes throughout the story, into paragraphs. It's hard to follow when two people converse in the same paragraph.

All in all...good job! ;o)