Very dark...Who is the main character? It reminds me of a narrative opening to an old Vincent Price horror flick....Time to flash back to the past and begin the tale of how your character came to the moment where he/she decided to walk the dark and cold path..decided that he/she was damned and all those who stumble upon what appears to be a personal journal find themselves unwittingly marked...It's definitely disturbing which is a good draw to any reader. Keep going!

Thank you LynxIII....

Thanks. It'll be one of those feel-good stories before it's all over.

Yes, there will be a chapter 3! Don't you love the nice guy with the good job?

Thanks. It was around 2:30 a.m. when I had the urge to write so didn't get a chance to edit (too tired!). Yes, some of it is personal feelings and experience but the storyline is fictitious. Judy wouldn't be a good character if she didn't have real feelings. It's always been said to "write what you know", otherwise, it wouldn't be believable to the readers. Thanks again!

I'm liking this! Love the accent...love the hook....where's the next chapter? I wouldn't let another write it...you have too much of a personal style for someone else to step in!

Great passage! I like the visual information and the also the child's point of view. You get a sense of someone older trying to remember what they saw back then as a child, with the understanding of a child. Keep going!

Please don't leave the room! I'm finding your comments very helpful! My sister, the English teacher, said it lacked "the big grab" at the beginning when all I wanted to do was lead the reader slowly by the hand! All of my tales are "in progress"! I'm hoping to finish them all soon.

You know, I had the opportunity yesterday to meet author, Charles Sheilds (he wrote the only biography on Harper Lee-author of "To Kill a Mockingbird") and I received the most wonderful piece of advice that has helped me in situations when the story stalls or I don't know where the character will go next! He said "Introduce a new character!" I thought that was brilliant! So when I have time this weekend, I'll be type, type, typing away!!!

Thanks guys...will work on that....most appreciated!