Discussion of "Flatline: Chinese food and Lilac Wine" by mellsy

mellsy – this is “fan-****in'-tabulous!”
I absolutely love that you changed POV and continued from her perspective. The details where sensational. The inner thoughts…such as the bit on ‘retrospect.’ Terrific.
I was actually sort a’ spooked to be honest. Hard to explain really…just that I got this really cool sensation as I read it…like, had I attempted to write a continuation from her perspective, I would have ‘tried’ to do it just like this. With the inner thoughts and the emotional debating and the pop culture references. Emotionally, I felt really close to your chapter. Which I guess is a testament to how well written it was.
I thought it was an excellent continuation and I voted a five for it.
Noticed this was your first submission on SM. I hope to read more from you in the future.

Wow, thank you very kindly. I began reading this comment and was quite flattered, and then even more so once I realized that it was from you, dogdeity! If my chapter has impressed you even half as much as yours impressed me, then I am completely satisfied. Your chapter inspired this one, so really, kudos to you.

Thanks, also for the welcome. I had no idea something like Storymash even existed, and I'm super excited to continue submitting my work. I am probably more excited, though to read more of your work.

Thanks again, for submitting "Flatline" in the first place. I'm delighted that you enjoyed my little ol' adaptation. I'll definitely be searching for more of your work on here.

I 100% agree! this is the perfect continuation! So touching and sad, it drew me right in and I loved every word.
Welcome to SM!!

Thanks so much!

once again you just end it right when i want more... bum
you should write a sequel or something

A belated welcome to SM, mellsy. I often read dogdeity's work and "stumbled" onto this mash. I often run out of superlatives when a story or chapter really "gets" to me and this is another case. Your chapter is exceptionally well written. Full of emotion that readers cannot ignore, it drives right to the heart. Dog's "Flatline" has spawned a torrent of mash's but this one...this one is by far the best. 5 points on your first shot and I'm lookng forward to reading more of your work...in fact, I'm going to go see what else you've got, now! lol