Discussion of "A Step Forward?" by mayday8281

Nice continuation; I thought the main character introspection was good. Couldn't quite get a handle on Kelly, though; she didn't seem to add anything to the story except to reveal the mental leave angle. Good set up for later with the web forum posting; pretty much anything can happen from that!

Thanks. The boss can either be used as a character, in case Jane goes back to work. Or I was pretty much using her as you say, to reveal the mental angle and to show how this has effected Jane's life.
Hey, do you know what the numbers next to each comment mean? I can adjust the numbers up or down, but doesn't seem to do anything else. I'm new to the site, so I don't know everything this site has to offer.

The numbers are just a voting tool for the comment itself. If you like the comment, vote it up; if you don't, vote it down; if you're neutral, leave it be. I don't think it means very much, just kind of a way to bring attention to something particularly good, bad, or useful.

Adding Kelly was a good idea in my opinion. It adds more depth to the story, showing that Jane worked in the corporate world and her mental situation forced her out of that life, although I think she should have been discussed in a little more detail. Jane's life between her childhood experience and current affliction has major story potential and I was hoping you would describe it in more detail

Thanks! Maybe I (or the next person) will look into getting more details. Maybe during the appointment Jane has with Kelly and the board?

Nice continuation, you definetly added more to her character here. Good job.

Thanks, I was trying to do just THAT!! :)

I really liked the introduction of her work life and the fact that she is on a mental leave of absence. It really adds to the fact that the situation is somehow coming to a head with her. The only problem I had was her being on the web forums...it seems to me that she wouldn't be there yet, because she had not fully accepted the reality of the situation herself. I think she definitely would have been curious to look at them anonymously, and maybe would have sent the post and then logged off without sending it when she saw her boss come in. But I really did like what you did with this.

Thanks! I was thinking (with the forums) that she's being thinking about it a lot, so she started doing research (via the internet) before seeing the shrink.