The story so far:
I am not one to startle easily or to conjure apparitions out of thin air. I decide the shadow in the mirror is from the big oak tree out the window bending in the light spring breeze. I return to the business of slowly knocking myself off with smoldering tobacco. From the hall I hear a crash and breaking of glass. My tough exterior jumps up to investigate while my softer side resists. My body jerks back and forth as two sides of me battle for control. The tough exterior wins and I walk down the hall telling myself there is always a logical explanation. Halfway to my bedroom I see the shadow again. I swear to you it is a dark outline of a man. A shadow you see on the ground at about two o'clock on a clear summer day attached to it's owners feet. The problem here is there is no owner, just a shadow. I get the most peculiar sensation as it moves sideways across the floor.
I scream! Of course I scream! Wouldn't you if some sideways crab walking, detached shadow came slithering across your floor. Believe me you would scream. My softer side begs me to run while chanting, "I knew it, I knew it, I told you, stupid tough exterior!" My tough exterior is trying very hard to process the moment calmly. Don't panic I tell myself as I stand frozen staring at the shady outline.
I see my Dr. Seuss gold fish bowl toothbrush holder splintered across the floor. I see my matching "thing 1" toothbrush, bristles down next to the toilet. For a moment fear escapes and irritation takes over. I cannot tell you how hard it is to find "thing 1" and "thing 2" toothbrushes and Dr Seuss gold fish bowl toothbrush holders these days. My only consolation is the unscathed "hat" as in Cat and the Hat soap dish still sitting on the edge of the sink.
No! Wait, I take that back! The soap dish was sitting unscathed on the counter. I feel my eyes bulge out of my head as the shadow slides back into the bathroom and picks the dish up. Before I continue I need you to understand the visual here. The shadow itself does not actually pick up the dish; the shadow picks up the shadow of the dish. The dish itself is hovering in mid air seemingly by itself before it crashes to the ground. A virtual Dr Seuss bathroom toiletries massacre spreads out before me.
My tough exterior trys to grab the shadow while my softer side squeals and takes over propelling me down the hall and out the front door. Standing outside I am at a loss as to what to do next. My softer side is hysterical and my tough exterior wants to kick some shadow ****. Enter my logical and analytical side demanding respect. My sub conscious peeks out from it's hiding place and whispers in my ear, "hey haven't you seen that shadow somewhere before? Before I have time to answer 'POOF' my sub conscious is gone burrowing it's way back to wherever it hides.
My logical side banishes my tough exterior and softer side to the depths of my psyche. Where have I seen that shadow before? A oversized, light bulb appears out of no where. "My dream!!!" I scream out loud. "Of course, of course, of course it is the shadow in my dream!!!" The light bulb disappears, it's purpose now complete. You may say I have an over active imagination but, that my friend is a matter of opinion.
Here's where my story gets interesting. Okay, check it out I am standing in the front yard trying to recover from the brutal and shadowy Dr. Seuss gold fish bowl toothbrush holder, thing 1,thing 2, and hat soapdish as in Cat and the Hat massacre, dreading the fact that it is I that must clean up the remains. I start walking towards the house when I see the shadow open the front door. The shadow does not actually open the door. It opens the shadow of the door and the door just opens. This detached, sideways crab walking shadow slithers across the yard and stops in front of my shadow. It speaks...