Unlike the unresolved resolutions of the past that I simply discarded and ignored,this one seemed to naw at me. At night as I lay beside of my husband,the man who no longer loved me,who no longer realized I was there,I thought of it. An affair. Something new and exciting to take me places my marriage had promised to show me but had failed to deliver. I knew my thoughts were wrong. A divorce would be the right thing to do. But how could I do that to our children when I still had my doubts? Could we,in fact,work on our marriage? I wasn't sure. Finally,during one of my sleepless nights as I tossed and turned with my thoughts I realized an affair was really my only hope of knowing.
The next night I made up an excuse(Isn't this how it always starts?). I told my husband an old girlfriend of mine from high school had come to town and she wanted to meet me for drinks. I left the house looking like my normal matronly self. However,on my shoulder was a bag that contained a tight pair of jeans and a shirt that had always done wonders for my figure. If I was going to do it,I was going to do it right. I went to a convience store two miles from my home and in the bathroom I made my amazing transformation. I barely reconized the woman smiling back at me in the dirty mirror. It was that woman that got smiles and glances from the men gathered around the store. So for the night,I decided,it was she I would become.
I wasn't stupid enough to go to a bar in town. Small towns are known for their citizens with big mouths. Just in case the night was a bust and I wanted to go back to my husband for good I didn't want to risk him finding out about my escapades. So I went two towns over to a small place that used to be a hot spot twenty years earlier. It was raunchy and loud,crude,the sort of place that had seen its share of indiscretions. What was one more?Checking my makeup once more in the rearview mirror I felt satisfied that I could,for the night,be a much younger single woman just looking for a night of fun. Slipping the gold band(so much a burden despite its small weight) off my finger,I got out of the car intent on keeping another resolution I had made to myself.