Too much telling, too little showing. The story could benefit from more suspense.

Nash, you can write dialogue. I noticed a few glitches that you probably caught in the revision (a character who says, "you ain't gonna shoot me" probably wouldn't say "you have more pressing issues to contend with"). You have a nice balance of dialogue, narrative, and description, and the last paragraph has attitude. Overall, I think has been underrated.

The first line of dialogue says it all. A person in this situation wouldn't talk like that.

You use "was" and "were" too much and tell more than you show. The story falls flat in its attempt to captivate.

hebe6405, you said it. I want my 30 seconds back. Too short, sarcastic and arrogant tone, made me feel worse for reading it. Abysmal.

I think Janet Evanovich has some good advice both on her website and in the book How I Write. If you can't finish the story, something is going wrong somewhere. It's hard to say what. You just have to figure out what approach works for you and then sit down and WRITE!

An oversimplification, but it works. To get the best effect out of a semi-colon, the two sentences should be very closely related. Otherwise the sentence sounds stilted.

You seem to have either a very strange sense of humor or a vastly over-inflated ego.

Funny, I liked it. 'Specially the part about being behind an 80-year-old driver.

Wouldn'ta guessed you're 19, by the way. Spring chicken.