Discussion of "The Lunchable Frog" by kissthepony
RavenLebeau 5 years, 9 months ago
I like this very much. You could probably polish and tighten some, but those are things that can be worked on. The thing that can't be worked on- insight- is evident in this piece. It's honest and specific and real. You don't make the mistake of trying to be relatable by writing in meaningless generalities. That's unusual.
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imadj 5 years, 9 months ago
I quite like this for several reasons; I related to the little girl and was quickly drawn into her situation. Yes, it could use a bit of polish, as said, but overall, a great start. I am looking forward to reading more! Great!
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