Discussion of "Peaceful Boy" by keysersoze

Hey - you had some very beautiful phrases in this, I was particularly gripped by the comparison of tree canopies to lace. I also felt very much like I was in the rainy setting you described.

I was bored by the many paragraphs of exposition. I think it was a mistake to explicitly say in the last paragraph that Willie doesn't fit in - we already knew from the first part. To make this better, I would go through and remove about three quarters of the piece. There is some repetition and much of your message could be conveyed more concisely or shown through action.

Hey, keys, been awhile...welcome back!

Good piece, here. I like the topic (not used much) and your character build. The setting was vividly done. You've set up the story quite well and left a mash wide open for interpretation.

Good job!