Discussion of "Wild Iris" by katica_locke

Captivating story. I have only 2 criticisms. First, watch the verb tense. It's written in past tense, but some present tense seeps in. I have that tendency at times, so I have to keep watch. But overall, your grammar looks pretty solid. Second, I would really think about making it obvious that it's a fantasy story from the very beginning. We don't find out until halfway down that it's a fantasy story with unicorns. So it goes from "The House of Sand and Fog" to "Lord of the Rings". I'm not huge into fantasy, so that's my best comparison. Keep writing. You're doing good. Just work on a few things and learn from your mistakes. You'll be published one day.

Thank you very much for your comments. I'll definitely keep an eye on my tenses in the future. I see your point about revealing that it's fantasy earlier, however the fantasy aspects are introduced within the first page (in Word) and it's a five and a half page story. That's hardly "halfway down". I will take your suggestions into consideration, though.

Thank you for the encouragement. I am already published. This was just something I wrote for fun and didn't consider publish-worthy.