Discussion of "Teary Eyes" by jabogy
sonytoprano39 7 years, 7 months ago
looks like we have a lot of the same feelings. u should read my blinding love or death of a memory and see what you can do with them.. looking for some kind of plot for both... thank you.
hidden comment from sonytoprano39 with score of 1
hebe6405 7 years, 7 months ago
I got lost - the rythym/structure threw me off while reading. I don't normally read poetry, so my opinion isn't expert. There are several sentences with lots of rhymes in them tossed into the middle of non-rhyming phrases. When the rhymes started is where I was thrown off.
Also, check spelling. One line in particular [Where as now all I have is memories, their iggin me,to bring them up.] bothered me.
hidden comment from hebe6405 with score of 1
jayzgurl0527 7 years, 6 months ago
I like how you expressed your emotions. It was filled with imagery. Cant wait til the next chapter. Keep up the good work! Your dreams are closer than you think.
hidden comment from jayzgurl0527 with score of 1