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Discussion of "Teary Eyes" by jabogy

1 sonytoprano39 8 years, 1 month ago Reply

looks like we have a lot of the same feelings. u should read my blinding love or death of a memory and see what you can do with them.. looking for some kind of plot for both... thank you.

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1 hebe6405 8 years, 1 month ago Reply

I got lost - the rythym/structure threw me off while reading. I don't normally read poetry, so my opinion isn't expert. There are several sentences with lots of rhymes in them tossed into the middle of non-rhyming phrases. When the rhymes started is where I was thrown off.

Also, check spelling. One line in particular [Where as now all I have is memories, their iggin me,to bring them up.] bothered me.
-Whereas should be one word.
-Their should be they're or they are.
-What's iggin mean?

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1 jayzgurl0527 8 years, 1 month ago Reply

I like how you expressed your emotions. It was filled with imagery. Cant wait til the next chapter. Keep up the good work! Your dreams are closer than you think.

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