inuitennui
Last Login: Nov. 8, 2008
50 Comments by inuitennui
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inuitennui 2 months, 2 weeks ago
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An impressive chapter. 4 stars. |
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inuitennui 2 months, 2 weeks ago
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Thanks very much. I quilted it from a 7000-word well of a project from '97 and '98. I was impressed with it back then, but not so much this year. |
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inuitennui 2 months, 2 weeks ago
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Many thanks to both of you! An_D, I felt exactly the same while preparing to write this, and even more so just before publishing. Please pursue that notion of continuation. |
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inuitennui 2 months, 3 weeks ago
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Great work. Your multiple springboards for continuation exemplify SM's aim. 4 stars and applause. |
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inuitennui 2 months, 4 weeks ago
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2.5 stars. The problems with spelling and punctuation persist, as does the timeframe issue. If several chapters will be devoted to the production of the android, then the first paragraph of Chapter 1 should have been longer- in fact, it should have been the end of the chapter. I can assure you, I've been guilty of it, too. Hmm... The clockworks. That's a great subplot that you've unfortunately wrapped up in one brief paragraph. I would've loved to read four to five chapters, just devoted to clockwork heists. You would've had another opportunity to introduce new characters: law enforcement officials, rich members of society, black market suppliers of... I don't know, robbery supplies? Stuff like that. Finally: realistically speaking, six weeks is far too soon for the development of a working endoskeleton. (I'm guessing that you meant endoskeleton.) Initial drawings could've been ready, maybe, but Simonson should've still been spending exhaustingly tedious nights awake in his laboratory, solving problems of robotic engineering. I'm assuming, of course, that you prefer for this story to proceed for more than only a few chapters. I could be way off base, and misunderstanding your intentions. Oh well. It is, after all, a workshop site and now you have my advice. I hope you continue with this. |
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inuitennui 2 months, 4 weeks ago
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Welcome, clockworkgirl. I cast a vote of 3 stars for this- to be clear, for the plot. I want to reiterate the fact that I really like the plot! I also enjoy the vague setting of time. Might be the future, or maybe not. Please continue; welcome again. |
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inuitennui 2 months, 4 weeks ago
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Greetings, SB. Welcome to SM! However, this chapter is a bit short. Also, its density of optimism makes me, as a reader, wonder when the other shoe will fall. Now, I'm not necessarily a fan of tragedy and heartache, but a little bit makes for better writing (and reading,) than none at all. To elaborate: If her career takes off here and only gets better throughout the entire story, then you've wrapped the entire thing up in one brief chapter. However, if this were approached a la Camus, making this episode the absolute high point in Betsey's life and career and then proceeding from bad to worse to oblivion (and perhaps even beyond that!), then your readers will keep tuning in, infested with a fear that her newest adventure will be her last, or else even worse than they might imagine for her. Call me dark, I guess. Welcome again! |
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inuitennui 3 months ago
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Thanks! Great responses. I'm really pleased. Now spread the word! Trendsetting is not my forte. I just want to inform people. You, the SM pillars, can do that! Your methods of information circulation outreach my own. If asked, feel free to say, "InEnn showed me." Otherwise, no hard feelings will be harbored for seized credit. |
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inuitennui 3 months ago
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4 months later, and I just came across this entry. Thanks so much for the compliments! I have lots of excuses for the Missouri delay- just no good ones. (With myriad non-literary-but-still-creative pursuits and also the HAC in the way, I've veered from the path of SM productivity, but I vow imminence!) By the way, this was an excellent response to an even better (and needed,) query! |
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inuitennui 3 months, 1 week ago
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Welcome to SM, Angela. It's an interesting approach to present the treatment here before anything else, considering the often unpredictable course that some of this site's stories can take. I hope your influx of inquiries is both abundant and sincere. I cast a vote of 3.5 stars for One Summer. You'll find (with continued visitation,) that some SM members will commonly divulge their vote in accompanying commentary- I am such a member, and do advocate the practice. As for the story: you're on to something with it, but the title is weak. I suggest actually writing the first chapter, or else a significant episode from elsewhere in the story to establish a narrative style upon/from which other writers can build and branch out. Please continue, and welcome again! |
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9 Chapters by inuitennui
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4.3/5.0 - published Sep 02, 2008 - 7 comments
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4.3/5.0 - published Aug 26, 2008 - 3 comments - start of story
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3.0/5.0 - published Jul 19, 2008 - 1 comment - start of story
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4.1/5.0 - published Apr 16, 2008 - 1 comment - start of story
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4.3/5.0 - published Apr 11, 2008 - 4 comments - start of story
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3.6/5.0 - published Apr 09, 2008 - 9 comments - start of story
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4.4/5.0 - published Apr 02, 2008 - 3 comments
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4.4/5.0 - published Mar 28, 2008 - 6 comments
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4.1/5.0 - published Mar 28, 2008 - 7 comments
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