I like this. I think you've gotten off to a very strong start - set up the scene well and already have the reader in this girl's corner. Off to read the next chapter.... and the next...

I just put up a new chapter called "A Thousand Words," and I would love to see someone add to it. And I am going to read "August" ariaterra!

Yes, I suppose it does make sense... And funny thing is, when I did come back, there was one of my old stories that had generated a bit of debate... I guess it's nice to know that the things I have written are taking on a life of there own! Thanks for answering!

"The Book of Joby" by Mark Ferrari. Absolutely riveting book and some of the best character development ever. This was his first, and so far, only book. I am told he's working on another...

Suggests some interesting possibilities, as it is wide open as a prologue. Dialogue needs a bit of work, though - just minor things to make it flow better.. like the last line may read easier if the break were placed after the word "You" instead of the phrase "you will be."

She's a lucky girl :)

Hey, Katrina - I have a question. I used to be active on this site, a few years back, but had not been on it at all for a long time. Suddenly this week, I get a check for $5. So I go back on to see why that might have happened, Can't figure it out... can you explain? But I must say, I am really happy it got me to come back on SM - forgot how much fun it could be! Still curious, though

This is just beautiful! Was I correct in thinking that this person about to be born is actually doing so ... again? And is in the actual process of forgetting the life that he had just lived? What a wonderful and eerie thought! Really, really liked this.

Thanks, jazzfan. I do write most of my poetry in contemporary language. I write mainly children's poetry. But if you could see the painting that this poem is based on (see above comment), then you'd understand that this one HAD to be written this way. The "protector" in the story is actually a gargoyle - like creature, sitting on an ancient alien mountaintop. In the story he's been sitting there for eons and very likely wouldn't ever have heard contemporary language at all... the ancient language is actually a key element in portraying the fact that time itself has passed this creature by.

I like reading your submissions. Very poetic and tenuous... things that make you pause and think... it seems like the reader can almost put their own meaning into it and make it something personal...I've gone back and read other things you've written