Paragraphs could have elevated this. [Yes the title itself had me chuckling.]

Yikes. This is really tragic. Beginning definitely draws you in.

I can see this going either way from this point. It could be a serious story or it can be a comedy. :)

This is an excellent start to what could be a great story. Nice imagination.

Interesting introduction. Not sure it is something that will draw in a lot of people initially, but it intrigued me. :)

I agree with JD. By telling the reader doesn't get the full impact of how the kid feels and the turmoil going on in his head. I'd rework the scene, maybe lengthen it and draw the reader in as this looks like the pivotal scene that will lay out how your story goes.

Well this is intriguing. I wonder what Harrison's story is.

I'm for it. It's a harmless way for people to show a bit of their personality. A good avatar can be almost as good as the jacket cover of a book in a store that catches your eye.

My advice would be to know the times you are writing about. If you writing anything historical then make sure you take the time to know the period you are writing about. If it is based on modern times do the same thing. I think another important thing is to not look for perfection in a first draft. You will end up spending all your time correcting this or that instead of writing and in frustration you will just put it off or walk away. Let your imagination lead the way and write.

I have to agree with everyone else. If I had a nickle for everytime I had a plan to take over the world foiled by some rascally kids and their mangy dog I'd be a thousanaire. Kudos.