Archetypically linked to all the other sinners. We sin together, we’ll die together: in dust storms or of starvation.

Everyone dies in an apocalypse. I know they say the good win, but there are no good. No good is war, no good is death. We all have a little evil in us. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

My first memory is of a funeral. It was for the father of one of my dad’s friends. I was wearing a denim Oshkosh B’Gosh jumper and had my hair tied up in pigtails with white ribbons that had little strawberries all along their length. My mom has a corroborating photo.

“I am writing this book because we’re all going to die,” wrote Kerouac.

I saw my first corpse before I had my first kiss.

Old people die and everyone has to get involved for the big sendoff. The children practice songs about innocence and eternity. The deceased starts in a room close to the chapel, its casket flanked by the survivors. The mourners file past relatives trying to Be Strong. Everyone hugs then files past the casket. Yep, that’s a dead person. Um… hang in there, man, they say you’re in a better place now.

On to the chapel where any corpse lucky enough to be lying in a casket is canonized. Then we eat funeral potatoes.

Death is vindication I guess. “See, I told you all this suffering was worth it.”

When I die, I want the truth told:

“Listen, sinners. The corpse lying here before you spent much of her life as an unstable, drunken little girl who let cowardice run her life. No bright light here, not many good deeds. Sure she had good times, loved her husband, etc. But overall she failed at making her life Mean Something. Please file silently out of building, Miss liked things quiet.”

But death, I’ve seen it happen. The body shudders, there is nothing violent, no gasping or straining, just a quiet shudder. Then nothing. Every muscle is relaxed, she was so quiet and her face so peacful that the men pounding on her chest, barking out orders, counting breaths, looked like players in a melodrama.

Why make such a fuss, look how comfortable she is.