Discussion of "Love and Bones" by honeygloom

Sounds like a night of drunkenness. We've all been there, done that. Too much whiskey can not only make you melancholy, it can also lead to depression and in some cases, suicide. Although this piece was slightly scattered (could be from the character over-drinking), there was great visual. I kind of liked it. Sy

Thank you, I'm glad you kind of liked it:)

Dear Ms. Gloom. I agree it wasn't right for me to bash Thelestro, nor Nasvillebecker regarding their posts. I do apologize. This is supposed to be a site of constructive input, not destructive. After all, they were only -as I do- writing what they feel. Is there any other way?

Hey, that's sweet of you to say:) NO one expects you to like everything, but if you can use your talent to help others then StoryMash needs you and we're glad to have you here!

An interesting little piece. I felt the setting left a little to be desired. The character's on the sand, but the rocky sand of a lake beach or the soft sun-warmed sand of the ocean? Of course, it could just be that the character was too drunk to pay close enough attention. Not your best piece, but certainly an interesting beginning.

Oh, I suck at settings. It's a short-coming I know all too well. Thanks for reading:)

I loved the comparison of love to fairy wings. Very poetic. A nice piece.

Thanks very much!

Seems like eternity, (and a few extra days), since I’ve read a new honeygloom piece. This was very exciting! Now, I have to admit, because I adore you so, it would be terribly difficult to be unbiased when commenting and voting. Thankfully you’re so damn good I don’t have to worry about that!
I loved this chapter. It’s very moody and emotional. And there are some sensational lines.
As always your imagination fascinates me. The bones of a fairy stuck in a rock on the beach. “But I’m drawn to bones.” Awesome.
I try to avoid commenting on others comments however someone mentioned a lack of details surrounding the setting and I disagreed. I think you provided enough details regarding the setting for the reader to fill in the blanks on their own. You have to give your reader some credit right? It’s cold. It’s a beach. There are rocks. Its night time. I would feel like additional descriptions of the setting may in fact detract from the overall mood of the piece. Anyhow, my opinion. I was able to envision the scene clearly.
I also wanted to call out a particular bit because it really moved me. (see below)
Great writing honey!
“With unkissed lips I stumbled along the dark and moody beach. Against all the dark and grey the fragile white ossa beamed. I wiped my tears away and cursed Seamus for the chill against my skin. He used to love me, now he’s used to me. Don’t think that each kiss might be his last. Might be though.”

It's nice to be adored;)Thank you, Eleven!

I really enjoyed this- moody and evocative- I found I could visualize the scene effortlessly- for me a cold irish coastline-echoing her outlook- also the the way the thoughts flowed in the character's mind spoke to her frustration/despair- you had me going- i thought it was a fantasy piece but loved the comment by seamus about "it's a bird dingbat" that said so much about his character, their relationship and the differences in their personalities. i think women especially would relate to this piece. off to read chapter 2.
Chloe

I, too, thoroughly enjoyed this, HG and had no problem visualizing the scene. I'm a firm believer in giving the reader enough credit to fill in the blanks or, better yet, visualize his/her own scenary. Great emotional and relationship build for each character. Loved it!

An interesting premise and some really nice lines!

The transitions are very Po-Mo--jarring and abrupt and that complements the feeling evoked by the image of a fairy skeleton. i like that.

Your description is sometimes a bit heavy handed, and occasionally "tells" instead of "shows," but i feel way hypocritical saying that because obviously my work does the same thing. Oh what i wouldn't give for a good editor *wink
It is also really really lovely too.

Looking forward to reading more of your work.

Thanks everyone!

Very original....you gave wonderful visuals.

A nice short piece that really becomes something great in the end.
'That's not a fairy its a bird'.
Really tells something about their relationship and their different personalities. It was a fun little chapter to read.

I liked the reference to the fairy skeleton. It makes me think. I've never heard a reference like that, and set at the beach when fairies are notorious woodland being, maybe they go to the beach to die? HHHhhhhhhhhhhmmmmm ya got me thinkin!! good work! *grin*