There is this girl at work whose two ex-husbands are both coke addicts. On is on welfare and the state makes her pay for it. The most recent ex-husband just got out of prison two months ago and is already back on coke, ditching his parole officers, and harassing her. I’ve never known anyone just getting out of prison so I don’t really know if that is normal or not. Now she is dating this half black guy who is actually a decent guy, but her ex says she’s mean and dirty for dating him. Honestly, you can’t even tell he’s black. He’s nice too and good to her kids. I don’t understand why people put up with other people being ****. She doesn’t even drink to help her through it. She must like the hassle. Maybe she gets off on it. I don’t know, why would I?

I have an ex-husband too. He wasn’t really that mean though, he just ignored me and loved another woman. She was studying to be a Physician’s Assistant. I was getting my degree in English. I tried to get her husband to fall in love with me. It wasn’t really out of spite or anything, I just wanted someone to love me. He never did though. That was the first time I tried to commit suicide. I stepped off the corner in front of a bus, but a guy pulled me back. Turns out he never loved me either. I drank all the time then. Sometimes I wonder how I graduated. I was hung-over for almost four years straight. I like vanilla rum and coke then, with a lime. I lived in Utah then so to get real beer we had to buy overpriced beer at the state liquor stores or smuggle the cheep stuff in from Nevada. Such a hassle, I just limited myself to hard liquor. I can’t stand beer to this day. I’ll drink it though, if it’s the only thing around.

The more I think about it, my ex-husband was very much like my mother. I don’t really want to talk about her though, it’s too exhausting.