Discussion of "We Aren't Allowed to Take the Boxes Home" by honeygloom

Whoa, is was so...*thinking of the perfect way to say it*...distantly creepy. Almost like he's disconnected from it all. There but not there. Ya know? Anyway, loved it. You have such a way with forming magical sentences. My favorite in this was: "Smoking is like pumping hot magma into Yellowstone’s super volcano, just asking for destruction." I thought it was incrediablly creative. Vivid, it and the story as a whole. Great work. You super-duper writer!

Honeygloom, this is a little confusing, to me, at least, but maybe I should just read the other stories to find out what really happened to Jenny Lee. It's also a little spooky, but stories are supposed to be suspenseful in a sense, right? Please get back to me.

Oh, by the way, you did a great job with writing the story in a vivid manner, Honeygloom!

Very twisted. This guy seems as messed up as the killer, just in a different way. Or is he supposed to be the killer? I didn't get that vibe personally, but there's room for it. Like LadyLuck said, his disconnected manner of dealing with it was beautifully portrayed. What a curious individual! I'm looking forward to more.

I was expecting you to go back to the detective that kicked off the story, but man you really threw a curve ball...lol!!

A strange guy here. As Aggie mentioned...I didn't get the vibe that he was the killer from chapter 2 but...he could be. There were hints in that direction, but only hints and that was really well done.

All in all, excellent writing, honey!! ;o)

After seeing your comment in the "forum" referring to the posting of this chapter...I went back to re- read the first chapter. Sure glad I did!! I assumed the character was a detective. Assumed wrong...maybe....lol.

The fact that the character in chapter one is the same as that in this chapter, gives the story a whole perspective and DAMN, how did I miss that? Easy, of course, due entirely to your genius, honey! Gotta raise my vote...no, can't it was a 5 to start with....;o)

Hi ya honeygloom. I loved this bit:
“It seemed like she put spaghetti sauce in two places, in two entirely different cupboards.”
Terrific casual observation under such extreme circumstances. Great writing.
I admit, I am totally lost after three chapters. This seems like the same guy from the first chapter, however he is different than the one in chapter two. Jenny and Melisa are two separate murders committed by two separate people. I think.
One dude kills and then freezes body parts. The other has to collect them and put them back together?
I’m not sure if you guys have a handle on this either but I’m sure we all hope the madness continues. The writing, while disturbing, is terrific.

Hey thanks everyone:) 'spose I should explain some stuff. I don't know why, but I couldn't write it with WWB's victim. The whole name thing creeped me out a lot for some reason. I figured this wasn't 'God's' first rodeo so if I made my girl a previous victim it would be ok.

As for my protagonist, I really just wanted him to be lovestruck not quite right in the head, but not a killer. I was hoping the fact that he put the groceries away would show some forethought regarding a criminal investigation.

I have some thoughts about where to go from here but it will depend, of course on what WWB does:)

I'm cold, heartless and totally without couth, tact or any semblance of sensitivity regarding my victim's name.....;o(. Geesh, I just wasn't thinking! Forgive me?

This chapter could be taken like a flashback into the killer's earlier life, and WWB's was current mode, get it? I don't know, just trying to help.

I am with dog....hoping you two continue with this. There is plenty of time to establish all the different players in the story and build their characters. Wherever yall go with this one, I am doomed to follow. Ya got me, LOL.

5 honey, darling. =)