Discussion of "Discipline" by honeygloom

Wretched formatting;(

I didn't even notice the formatting. Nor did I pay attention to the fact that you built the first and last sentence into the story, perfectly. Nope, because the STORY was so beautifully written, the title perfect, the characterization fabulous and the imagination so vividly displayed that I simply didn't give a rat's behind for anything else. I never wanted it to end. This is exemplary writting, honey. Congratulations!

Wow. Everything that WWB said, especially the never-wanting-it-to-end part. Superbly done honeygloom!

Didn't notice the formatting, so no worries. You have a wonderful talent for bringing your characters to life and getting your readers to care about them. Well written, an excellent read.

I didn't notice the formatting, either. I was too wrapped up in the "All Nighter". Great plot and as JD said, you have an amazing gift for making readers care about your characters.

Thanks guys and gals:) I wrote the first paragraph right after I got my assignment and then when I picked it up again yesterday I completely forgot where I was going... my muse must have been in a strange mood yesterday. I'm glad you all liked it:)

The only thing that was odd for me was that when I first started reading it, I was picturing two older people in their sixties or so. Which led to a very strange "Triplets?? WHAT???" moment. I went back to the beginning, read a bit more carefully, and felt pretty silly afterwards. A really lovely story honey. :)

Wonderful characters, their interactions were so human and real. You could almost see yourself hovering over a real couple, having these kinds of conversations with each other - your creations were that vivid.

Very engaging and strange story - the strangeness had me hooked. I couldn't figure out the characters, exactly - their motivations or what they do... I liked how you dropped just enough hints to make the reader NEED more information.

Awe, thanks all *blush*

You have such a wonderful gift for storytelling honeygloom. Interesting characters. Dialogue that matched the characters and was believable. Emotions. Mystery. A fresh, creative perspective. And a storyline that although much too short, was compelling. It does work as a stand alone short story. With a re-write or two to strengthen up a few bits, I could easily see this appearing in a ‘Best of’ compilation of Americans brightest young storytellers.
I really enjoyed it.

Oh, you're too kind. And I'm flattered you found time out of your busy stat-crunching schedule to read;)I am definitely considering a re-write of this one. It was off-the-cuff, but I like it's potential so thanks for the vote of confidence.

Wow. Now I remember why I like this site. I can learn so much from writers like you. You are not only a great writer but a great storyteller. Well done.

Thanks Mari!