Discussion of "Giant Rock: In the Beginning" by hebe6405

Great second chapter hebe....post the announcement on the forum to let others know.

Wow hebe! Great job:) Gimme more would be my only issue. I liked the feel and tone of it and I really would have liked it to continue. But I'm just being greedy, very well done!

Beautifully written, hebe. Even though I would have loved more, you chose a good place to end the chapter.

You've written it very well. I learned a lot from this. Thanks for posting :)

Loved how you went back and captured the "real" beginning. Great descriptives, dialogue and character build. I have to echo the others and say that my only nit is... I wanted more!!!

I liked the way you went back to help us better understand the beginning - but, I agree a little more would have been real nice. Nonetheless, good work.

I loved hebe6405's chapter. It's well thought out andis setting the stage for a wonderful journey. The only suggestion I would make if it is not too late, is to change the planet from which Serendipity has just traveled from.
Unless it turns out later to only have been a visit for a scientific study, or of course, some other inventive reason you are fully capable of imagining, the planet Venus, although historically and romantically is not coducive to the evolution of the type of exquisite female life form you have so eloquently presented to us. Many readers of science fiction are aware of this and the fact that Venus is so close to Earth might detract the viability of the plot. If I might be so bold as to also suggest that you avoid using the typical use of screwy, "Lord of the Rings, or, Star Trek names" for any your characters. This, I believe, has be relentlessly driven into the ground by too, too many SF writers. It detracts from the flow of the read,I feel, with having to figure out how to pronounce to many vowel deficit names, and then memorize them to boot.
Well. I apologise for this concluding rant, but do want to wish you all the success in all the worlds, and look forward to feading your future contributions!

The reason for the planet Venus is historical - some of our story is pure fiction, but other parts are "fact." Van Tassel really did exist; he really did believe that aliens visited him from the planet Venus (and that they gave him the plans for Intergraton); and the structure really was built.

No need to apologize for anything. I appreciate the comments. Thank you for taking the time to read and offer your input.

Also, you could always just say, hey, they're aliens, perhaps they just showed up in whatever form they deemed appropriate. Perhaps they can change the way they look, etc.

Whats kind of odd was that I didn't realize that this was like a third post and didn't really understand all that was going on, but just enough to still enjoy reading it. Great descriptions and dialogue, It felt like I was learning new stuff just by reading it :P.

Oooh this opens a wealth of possibilities!- beautifully written with great visuals- painted a vivid picture!

Terrific continuation. Perfect time for this event in the storyline. And I thought it was written really well. I only wish there would have been more ya know. Like when you’re reading a great book and then its over. I was like, DAMN! I want to see more of the Alien spacecraft and hear more about the plans. But overall, where you left it was pretty perfect too. It allows another author to pick it up at some point and clarify some of the mystery. Great job!

I like how you start out paint a picture of the weather, wind not to most. and prays by the rock. well written.

thank you