Something inside of me wanted to cry with him but I fought back the tears.  I was angry and disappointed with myself for breaking the promise that I made with my mother and overwhelmed with sadness for the pain that my father felt because of what I told him.  It felt as though guilt was sucking all of the life out of my young body and at some point I would be swept away to another dimension.  Just when I thought I would not be able to catch my breath, the grip lessened and I realized that my father was loosening his arms from around me.  He pulled away from me and wiped the tears from his eyes.  It seemed to me that my father looked at me as though he could see into my soul, he looked at me as if he were seeing me for the first time, as if he expeced to see someone else.  He held me at arms length and looked at my hair, me eyes, and my mouth and I began to wonder if I looked differently to him now that I revealed my mother's secret, then I slowly began to understand what the impact of my words had on this man that had always been so strong and kind to me and my mother.  At that moment I wanted to take back everything that I told him, I wanted to tell him that it was a lie that I made everything up but it was too late the damage was done.  My pleading eyes searched his face for a sign that everything would be alright, instead what I saw made me afraid of him for the first time ever in my young life.  The man that I saw before me looked angry enough to hurt someone but instead of directing his anger at me, he said through clench teeth "how could she do this to me?"