It's close, but there are a few problems. First, there is not enough dialogue. The main character barely talks to the first bum, and then the bum is dead and we have no emotional connection between them. On the 2nd half of the chapter, there is more dialogue, but not enough. Too much is explained through narrative rather than inserting it into the dialogue or alluding to it. And the ending of the chapter isn't enough of a hook to the 2nd chapter. Additionally, it ruins any kind of foreshadowing because now we know that there will be a series of events between the main character and the beggar that will change their lives. I think a possibility is to lead the reader into thinking that maybe this beggar will die, too, much like before. It adds a dash of black humor that everyone he tries to help ends up dead. It's really close though. I realize you self-published this already, but you might wanna think about reworking elements so that you can get a literary agent and publisher. There's a compelling story here, but it's just the way in which it's told that prevents it from being a great story. Move some things around. Leave out some information that is unnecessary. The one cardinal sin of writing is to explain everything and everyone's relationship to one another at the outset. Let things evolve naturally. Dialogue helps. Anyways, I've babbled enough. Good luck to you. Eventually you're gonna get a publisher.

Will probably be a while before I can write another chapter. Wrapped up in other things at the moment. Unless someone wants to continue it?

Awesome! I'd love to see more. Sounds like a story Michael Crichton would have written.

Main problem is finding the plot. You have all character and no plot. There's only one main character, so no dialogue develops. He needs to spark a conversation with someone. Do something. Have an affair. Steal from the communion plates. And it's absent of conflict of any kind. Just take the Preacher and throw him into a situation and see how he responds and what he does. You already have the character down.

Grammar issues aside, it's interesting subject matter. Dreams and sleep disorders are an interest of mine, so I liked the premise of your story. However, there needs to be some interaction between the main character and someone else. Maybe he talks to a close friend about the latest night terror...or a shrink. We need to know more about him besides the night terrors. Give the character some life and depth. Show how the night terrors impact his life.

The story needs to get off the ground. You had a good foundation, but it doesn't go anywhere. There's no interaction between characters or conflict or anything that would drive the story. Add some elements that grab the reader.

I absolutely love your style. It's very unique and demands your attention. The only thing you need to do is clean up some of the grammar, but I wouldn't change anything substantive about the story. It's perfect. You should try to get it published.

This is my kind of story--mysterious. I'd love to see where the story goes in the following chapters. Great descriptions. You really get a good picture in your mind of everything.

Hmm...I see you're big into psychology. Is that your field of work, per chance? So my comments are pretty much the same as your last story. But I think I can make it easy for you. Think action, then analysis. Use that formula, and I think you'll see a huge difference. Because I do like the details and analysis you bring, it's just not in the right place. Keep writing. I'd like to see what you come up with next.

You've got great voice and tone, but the story doesn't really go anywhere. There's way too much explanation and background. Let those pieces come out naturally and eventually. The character needs to be doing something. Now, I'm not going to be critical without making at least one suggestion. You ought to bring us into the counseling session. Maybe have some sexual innuendo unintended by the shrink. Drop some of the background while the main character is in the session. So basically, just restructure it, and it will be better.