Discussion of "The Small Town Diaries of a Schizophrenic Avatar" by fifileigh
nashvillebecker 4 years, 9 months ago
Kudos for the discipline of regularly contributing to your story. Though I didn't read every installment, I did peruse a few (as well as the comments). I agree with WWB's assessment - it lacks a certain drive. I couldn't discern a sustained concern - a clock to beat, an antagonist to combat, an overall problem to solve. Even if these are "diary entries," there's little intimate/quirky/dangerous enough for me to care about reading them. It's very light on plot.
hidden comment from nashvillebecker with score of 2