Discussion of "Brother's Keeper" by ericswyatt

I'm no good at critique but, I do know a good story when I see one and this is the beginning of a very good story. Very well written, indeed.

Thank you. That's very kind.

This story start is a snippet that goes with a five or six part series of connected short stories. I'd like to draw this one out more, but I'm really rather stuck with it. It is kind of like a "deleted scene" on a DVD at this point...I thought it would be interesting to see if someone with no concept of the "rest of the story" were to mash this snippet...we'll see. At the very least, it comes out to play here and remains in my memory banks...

Thanks for reading. I hope you find other stories of mine to your liking.
-esw

Great introduction. Good tempo to the piece overall. I really liked the line that the seven minute service was four minutes too long.