Discussion of "My Mother's Secret IV" by dresdendoll

"I would kick at the worn carpeting at the edge of the chair. It was ugly carpeting. Brown, peach, blue…interweaving threads that clashed. It was the kind of carpeting they used in funeral parlors or offices, not somebody’s house."

This passage really struck me. I thought it was perfectly written at the right time. Really, really good. I hope you write more...I look forward to reading it!

I just figured out that I can reply to each comment individually - oops! Thank you so much. I love visuals...when I'm reading & writing. :-)

I was very impressed with the way you turned my chapter. Very well done. I was unsure with where I would take it but I believe you did an awesome job; thanks!

Thank you both for your kind comments. This is my first chapter on this site...I think I'm going to become addicted. This is a really cool site and such a neat idea.

I loved the way you were taking the story Ahill. You put some really interesting details in there to expand upon...like calling him "father" and "doctor" and meeting this man in church. Very intriguing concept! It was like the story just started writing itself. The first chapters were so captivating I just had to continue it. :-)

This is excellent. Your dialog is spot on and it is obvious to me you've been writing for some time. Very well done!

Thanks ShadowMan...I look forward to reading what everyone else has written and hope others continue to contribute to keep the ball rolling. I've been writing ever since I can remember. There's so much talent on this site. I'm very impressed with everything I've read thus far.

Great passage! I like the visual information and the also the child's point of view. You get a sense of someone older trying to remember what they saw back then as a child, with the understanding of a child. Keep going!

I was trying to keep with the tone of the original writer, jcauthor, who did a fantastic job fleshing out this story. They seemed to start it in the tone of a memoir. Thank you so much!

You write very smoothly and with such detail that I can see the boy sitting there in my mind, kicking at the carpet, listening to his mother crying,and eating ice cream. Bravo !
I'm new here too, BTW.
I would be interested to read your own continuation of my story.

You know, the funny thing is that I read your story before I read this comment and was already thinking about contributing. Anyone reading this needs to check out rico76sgirl's story. It's VERY good and interesting to read. Look forward to a future of collaborating rico76sgirl! I think we think along the same path. :-)

This is so well written! Everything feels very real and reads smoothly. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Thank you mari...I read something by you earlier that I really, really loved...I think it was on the story about the girl that dies from being shot. Terrific work! You really brought a fictional dead girl back to life through your writing.

Thank you so much everyone. You guys are great! I love being able to bounce ideas off everyone and hearing the way others would take the story. I will definitely check out what everyone else has written...and maybe contribute later on. :-)

This is good!! Everyone else has said it all. Wow! Is this place a writer's heaven or what!

You've added a depth to the story which is really needed at this point. Well done.