Great writing...you really kept up the flow nicely. :-) I can't remember if I wrote the Uncle Frank character as the mother's brother or the father's brother now...but it doesn't matter. The writing here is brilliant - absolutely loved it. 5*'s

I did take note of your suggestions. I saved more of his locker room talk for when he was with male friends. I had originally wrote some of it in, but it didn't sound quite right at that point and I had in mind a scene with a friend. I've met some really introspective and bitchy straight guys in situations like this...they just don't let other men hear them talking that way. His narration is like he's talking to both sexes, but his interaction with his friends is 100% male. I was relying on the way I've heard guys talk differently depending on their audience. You'll see more of the masculine side in the next chapter. The guy in the first two chapters is a guy browbeaten by a controlling girlfriend obsessed with petty things. He will grow a pair in coming chapters. (haha) It's great to hear the male perspective on things. Thank you so much. ;-)

The flashback sequence was very, very well done. Another take on this story going in another direction. Will be interesting to see where others take this.

Action at its' best. It reads like 'The Bourne Supremecy' - never a dull moment and the protagonist is instantly likeable and humorous (loved the "Lipshitz" line!). Now I've got to see what Shadowman has added, because I'm already a big fan of his.

Loved the first chapter...and the second chapter is just as promising. Great story line so far. It would be hard to carry on the wonderful storytelling of the first chapter...but you just did it! Amazing.

Great work! I love how you began fleshing out the relationship between Father/Doctor and Bradley. I could really see them walking down the street together. I really love this story and everything everyone has written to contribute. It's gone in such an interesting direction.

Interesting! Didn't think about writing from Kirsten's point of view. I was wondering if the two of them shouldn't gang up on Dom or befriend each other. This brings some new possibilities to the table, too.

Thanks Philly. :-) Feel free to contribute if you have any ideas!

Lovely, insidious writing. You went the direction I was thinking...I was thinking she should decide it was Dom that desereved the brunt of her wrath. I'm not quite so sure that little miss Kirsten needs to die...it might be a cool twist to find something redeeming in her character or to make her part of the plot against Dom. Then again, maybe not...I don't know. Fun story isn't it? It can go so many ways. I wonder how Dom will meet his maker.

This guy could be a good series character. Give him a catchy name...Harold Hallows, Hitman for the Scorned or some crazy ****. His job could be to bring justice to those who screwed up the lives of their families by having an affairs.