The story so far:
"sogno della dinistia complete" -> (34 skipped) -> "Super Colbert!" -> "THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!"
Magnus sputtered, "BUT- BUT! what if Enigmatt finds out about-" Just then, Enigmatt walked into the room, in his hands was a plate piled high with seven layer hero subs, legs of turkey, three bowls of nachos, fourteen tacos, a side order of mashed potatoes, and a cheezit.
It wasn't the amount of food that had irked Morgan.
It was simply the fact that he had only taken ONE cheezit.
"What the ****!" He shouted in irritation.
"Find out about what?" Enigmatt asked casually as he chomped down on the cheezit delicately first. Blake shrugged nervously, Magnus started to choke up a little bit. "Oh- uh... NOTHING, nothing at all buddy! Nothing, absolutely nothing! I mean, why would I- we- have anything to hide from you! Right Bl-" Magnus stopped himself from going further, he knew that Enigmatt spent most of his free time in the simulator with Paox and Shadowmatt. Enigmatts normally bright blue eyes darkened a little bit as he half closed his eyes out of irritation.
"Oh... You mean the Humans book?" He smiled sheepishly, knowing that almost everything written down was closer to the truth than they realized. "They got most of it wrong, so we've got nothing to worry about. RIGHT?"
Magnus recognized the tone in Enigmatts voice, and saw the expectantly disappointed looks on the two Humans faces. "Yeah... Right." The lion man said with a
bit of confusion, knowing that what was written down in those pages was the truth.
"So, Blake, you were telling me how Masla let you actually live?" The Lost Wolf asked blankly, knowing that the Masla they created would've killed him right on the spot. Blake scratched his curly blond hair for a minute, and simply gave in to his friends curiousity.
"Easy, considering who I was talking to. I simply stated that we'd written two more books, and since what they did or remembered was because of what we wrote, if he killed me, he would effectively kill their Existence as well. I told him the same goes for you." There was a pause in Blake's voice that seemed to crack from the overall stress of the situation. "Morg, I have to know, was it you who created the Golden Strands? Or the Dread Queen? Or any number of the strange and weird things that've been cropping up these past two years?" Blake asked it with a bit a distress thrown in there.
Morgan didn't know the feeling of watching as almost all of his family had been churned into a raging butterstick through a warp in reality, or seeing as every Animorph book blake had suddenly sprang to life for no reason other than to debate the contents of each entry in the series. He didn't realize what his actions had unleashed onto his home planet, the devastation and loss of life.Tthough for some reason, no one seemed sad about the death toll that numbered in the hundred millions.
"The only thing im aware of, is the Golden Strands. Everything else happened of its own accord."
Enigmatt coughed loud enough for Magnus to get the picture. "Let's leave the two guys alone to catch up, huh?" The Tingion said, quietly brushing a strand of blue hair out of his face.
"Yeah... We've got some training to do."
Blake waited until both of them had left the room and the door clicked shut. He quietly balled his fists as Morgan gave him a reproachful look. The red haired man opened his mouth multiple times to try and say something, but found the words choked on their way out.
"Blake-"
"DON'T BLAKE ME!" He roared in anger. "DONT YOU DARE BLAKE, OR BUDDY, OR WAIT A MINUTE! DON'T SAY A **** WORD MORGAN!" He wasn't through yet. He walked towards Morgan briskly, his fist tightening with every step taken. "Where did you go!? WHERE DID YOU GO!?" He shouted, his mind in a tempest. Morgan could only answer honestly, though he still didn't know why Blake was so angry.
"I-I-I was in a coma-"
"DON'T GIVE ME THAT!" He swung hard, as fast as his body would allow him to, the hit connecting with morgans stomach, knocking the wind out of him. "I checked with your so called high desert friends! They told me that you were off in the Dream Dimension, playing the hero while everyone here in the Waking Dimension suffered! You here me? THEY SUFFERED!"
"Bla-" Another blow, this one aimed for the ribs, connected hard, Morgan heard a crack. "I thought the Golden Strands were just another happening-"
"Would you let me-"
"NO!" Another blow, this one landing on his shoulder, dislocating it.
"Fine..."
"FINE!? NOTHING'S FINE AROUND HERE MORGAN! NOTHING AT ALL! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!?" Blake roared yet again as his balled up fist found its mark on Morgan's cheek, spinning his friend around and knocking him on his butt in a daze. Morgan's eyes fluttered as he tried to get a hold of his bearings. "Ye-yeah... fine."
"What does that mean? You answer me right now, you tell me what fine's supposed to mean to me! I LOST MOST OF MY FAMILY IN THE SPACE OF A FEW SECONDS, WHEN THE TURKEY IMPLODED ON ITSELF, AND THE RIBS TURNED TO **** SHRAPNEL!" Morgan got up and dusted himself off. His dislocated shoulder hurt like ****, but he popped it into place.
"Okay, fine. First, let's get this whole anger thing out of your system. You want to hit me?"
Blake was stunned at how arrogant Morgan sounded.
"Hit you?" He retorted, walking a path around the room, shaking his head. "I WANT TO **** KILL YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Blake roared again, but Morgan simply waved him off.
"Okay then, go for it. Before you try and get all that out, just remember that it won't do you any good to start throwing punches left and right trying to bring back the dead. You want to know where ive been? i told you. I was in a coma." Blake roared as his eyes went wild with pent up rage, and put all of his weight into the punch. The hit connected, Morgan not dodging the blow to the side of his rib cage. The fist broke through the skin, muscle, and bone and Blake was startled.
The Golden and Bloody strands, who had reverted to her human form for now, and the Black Syrup were still inside the Surviving Big Brother house with not much to do or anything really interesting to fight. The Golden Strands tried fighting one of the curtains, but kept getting tangled up in the threads and had to quit halfway through any actual decent move he was going to perform.
"Just give it up already, those curtains will never be beaten!" The Black Syrup whispered, in almost agitated tones. He knew the former God of Terror was right. If what they heard was true, then Ed's little gift to them all was a one way ticket to get out of this Existence by any means necessary. The Strands and the Syrup hatched a plan.
"Why are we worried? We are part of the Seven Strands and the Four Syrups! Our true forms are thousands of times bigger than this paltry excuse for an Existence!" The Black Syrup said, with an almost heightened sense of excitement, wringing his hands together, as though he'd long before thought of something to escape this exact situation.
"What are you thinking?" Caasi said as she casually formed various shapes with her own strands. "We simply just expand to our maximum sizes collectively and shattered the boundries of this place?"
Even the Golden Strands was taken aback by the thought of this. "It has been a while since we've stretched our legs. Knowing the others-"
"What others are we talking about?" Came the almost annoyed nasal intonation of Credion, who was in the middle of playing a fifth dimensional version of Chess, where their past moves would come back to haunt them and their future moves would also come back to light bags of poop on the front door.
"Well, since the Bidening, and the fact that the Puppet King's off fighting... Whatever the hell that thing was, Holojulie's secretly some sort of evil entity, and who the **** knows where everyone else is at the moment!" The Golden Strands shouted in annoyance. "Unfortunately, the season's pretty much dead in the water-"
"Not true, remember that deal we made with Alison? That we get to walk clean and clear of their influence?" The Black Strands counter pointed.
"Well... Actually, no. I don't remember that. And plus, we've got a war against the Chasm to fight, and I'm just assuming that Linheber's gathered all the Fragments of Reality, so that way we can just get to the damned Core!"
They mostly agreed that while exiting the house was simply the greatest way to end this failure of a show, they also agreed that they need to end the cycle of new versions of themselves getting sucked in here. And that's when it started again. The red holes popping up everywhere, and people getting spit out of them. And just as quickly, everyone took a baseball bat and started cracking heads off of necks. This took less than three minutes tops, except in the case of the other version of the golden strands, the Rainbow Farting Unicorn who rode a Harley and had the most hard core, bad assed name of Snuggles Ver Snuggleson.
That took an entire three minutes.
After which, they made a secret pact never to speak about Snuggles Ver Snuggleson ever again. Mainly because they thought it was just too hilarious, and one of the producers died laughing, not from just laughing, but he took in so much air trying to catch his breath, that his lungs exploded, short circuiting everything, and set the entire production booth on fire, igniting some conviently placed tanker truckers, causing them to explode, and destroying whatever the hell was left of the Thing, who slammed through the supporting swalls of the Surviving Big Brother house. Nordafet caught everything on his camcorder. It got three hundred trillion hits on Existencetube. Later that day, after a casual game of melted fooseball, hot potato, tic tac toe, hop scotch, and throwing rocks at a nearby smoldering wall, they left through the front door, into whatever was left of the audience that hadn't been charbroiled, smashed, sliced in half, or killed in any number of ridiculous ways, where three people clapped unconvincingly and then left, because they had better things to do, like live.
The former houseguests made thier way into a open portal, where Linheber stood waiting. "Took you long en-"
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" They all shouted at him.
Blake stood shocked, his eyes not believing the information they were processing. "Wh-what are you!?" He stammered as the skin around the wound he made simply crumpled and fell to the ground, clattering like pieces of a clay pot. "This can't be real! That punch should've just knocked you on your **** man!"
Morgan stood silently, as if nothing had transpired at all. "That's what happens when every single Existence is being ground together. The laws of physics no longer matter, the boundry between right and wrong science disappears completely. This is what I've had to deal with for a good four hundred years now. Now... You've got three choices, the first being the simplest. Stop punching me. The second a bit harder, keep hitting me with all you've got." Morgan looked up from his deep jade green eyes into blakes deep blue ones. Blake smiled, revealing that he really wanted to know the third choice.
"And the third?" Blake asked greedily.
"The third?" Morgan asked, locking eyes with Magnus and Enigmatts as they peered from the back of the room. The lion man and the Tingion smiled wildly, their auras flaring for just a second.
Enigmatt answered for the Lost Wolf. "Third being that you two duke it out, special moves and all like we've got, and see just how far down the gulk hole everyone's fallen!"
There was a little bit of silence, as Blakes fist was still inside Morgans rib cage. Inside his mind he'd already made the decision, he just needed to speak the words.
"You trying to say that I can do all the fancy stuff we've been writing into the books?" Blake said as his heart started beating faster.
"Pretty much my man. All you need to do is say the words and presto! Instant special attack!" The Lost Wolf said as he stepped backwards and looked into the gaping wound. "Also, no need to hold back on me, all my important organs are in a pocket dimension somewhere."
"Lets head down to my arena. We've GOT to get this tested out! You mean I could say ANYTHING I wanted to make into a attack and it would just happen!?"
Enigmatt nodded. "Yeah man, its more fun than you could realize. Better than a free buffet in the Gormet System!"
Magnus laughed relieved at the turn of events. "Whoa! Enigmatt saying that its better than buffet in the food mecca of the galaxy!? We're totally doing this!"
The four exited the main hall of the Corperation, went passed the various meeting rooms and events which were all staffed by copies of Blake himself.
"What?" Morgan said as he looked around to see hundreds, if not thousands, of Blakes running around and doing office type work. "I copied myself a few times over at Kinkos, and I'm not breaking the law since their all recycled paper!"
"BRILLIANT!" Morgan exclaimed.
Five minutes later, they entered a twenty five level coliseum in similiar design to the one demeonte fought his altered form holos in during their first books adventures.
"What the-"
"Here we are! Enigmatts training ground!"
"ARE YOU SHITTING ME!? Looks like you've got the saying random stuff thing down pat! So what are the rules?" Morgan asked, eager to get the fighting over with.
Enigmatt walked around Morgan with a giant smile on his face, saying nothing. Morgan watched, shoulders slightly slumped and eyes half closed watching the Tingions mouth.
"Three rounds, no time limit, one on one. Respawning Enimimes in hundreds, low gravity, high rebound effect!" Blake smiled silently, contemplating what attacks he could come up with.
"Well, lets get-" Morgan was launched into the air, noting that each of the floating platforms was a good ten to fifteen yards apart.
In the space of a few moments, a planet had been born, raised her children, and died. It wasn't even long enough for it to be called an actual living thing. That wasn't the focus, it was never the focus of all the energy falling about and slamming into the ground like exploding rain drops on pavement. It was one of these exploding rain drops that landed on Antimo's head and slid down the front of his face plate. His eyes calmly watched the goings on of the TV screen in front of him, as the barriers between Existences slowly came grinding though one another. It wasn't the sound itself that bothered him, it was the fact that there wasn't anything he or anyone could do about it. It did raise some pretty thought provoking questions in his mind about why all this was happening.
'Are we really just being compressed to make room for something even grander?'
There wasn't any response to his question. Rather, a giant ballistic missile headed his way, its payload ten times greater than both Hiroshima and Nagasaki combined, and the explosion itself would make Tunguska look like a sparkler going off. Antimo yawned as his ears picked up military chatter, mostly just directions on how to launch their next attack at him.
The channel he'd been watching was the news. CNN, FOX, ABC, and NBC were covering the strange effects going on in the sky, the new direction of the political process, and the beheading of Kim Jong Il, both of them, for breaking down negotiations with some of the Nightmalkians regarding pay raises.
"This is kinda boring." He said with a yawn as he simply raised his hand and stopped the missile in mid air. The pressure against his palm was somewhat painful, but nothing compared to what he experienced in the Dream Dimension. More military chatter, more frantic this time. He opened his eyes wide in slight angst as he heard to order to remote activate the payload inside.
"Not again!"
Back in Blake's arena, the two were set on the gently floating platforms as the holographic displays booted up with the now standard Twelfth Dimension Reality projectors. The scene brought back Enigmatts memories of the first time he had used the Simulator on Sojourn, but this time around, it was nothing like this. The gravity seemed to defy anything even remotely understandable, the platforms seemed to have taken in a life of their own, as they segmented themselves, separated, and reformed into various shapes and sizes.
"Awww crap. I'm getting motion sickness!" Morgan said as he tried to right himself, Blake rocketing up to meet him. "Oh, another thing i probably should mention, anything you say will come out spoken in a foreign language. Problem is though, not up to y-"
"Taco Bomben!" Blake shouted with an outstretched hand as a taco with a lit fuse appeared in his hand.
"WHAT THE FLYING!?" Morgan shouted in panic and instant hunger.
The taco bomb was flung in his general direction as he fell towards it. But instead of exploding, it started to glow and change its shape to that of the plant type Pokemon, Gardevior, and to be honest, Morgan was at a loss for words.
"Seriously!? Pokemon?"
Blake smiled like a goon. "Yep, I'm rocking the Pokemon. and to be honest, let's do this bitch up right! Go Reshiram and Zerkom! Use Hyperbeam and Antimatter beam!"
The platforms suddenly gave way as Blake now sported Pokemon trainer gear. To Morgan, he looked like a cross between brightly colored Batman and several smiley faces gone wrong.
"Oh, we're going that route huh?" The Lost Wolf shrugged as if to suggest something was in the mix. The two Pokemon, like two sides of the same coin, light and darkness, erupted from the slowly cracking Pokeballs and sprang to their full twelve foot height. Reshiram being like a knight in blessed armor, its feathery wings spread out as sparks of energy gathered in front of its chest.
Zerkom however, was crouched low, twisted by the twisters of darkness eminating from the fragments of the Pokemon containment unit that once held it. Crackling bolts of black lightning with red spirals surrounding it gathered at each of the tips of its wings, its red glowering eyes revealed the ultimate greed. The savegry of its desire for everything to end, and just a subtle hint of wanting a single Cheezit.
"I want a single Cheezit!" It shouted without mercy for Enigmatts recently eaten single Cheezit.
Morgan was now pissed beyond recognition.
"Oh yeah! Einberufung jutsu: go fehlende Zahl!" Morgan shouted as he reached into a small pocket dimension in front of him. "Oh god... you just did not unleash.... Batman!?" Blake said in confusion as the Caped Crusader was pulled head first out of the small portal.
"I'm the Batman of Zen Er Arg. I want ot be the very best, like no one ever was!" He said as his cape fwipped open, revealing a massive collection of Pokeballs with his twisted insignia on them. In one swift motion, both hands had snatched three each and had launched them into the air. "To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause! Go my Missing Number team!" The beams slammed through the Batman of Zen Er Arg, but he seemed to be absorbing the energy, as the black containment units flared open to reveal massive towers of disconnected pixels slamming together, each seven hundred feet tall and roaring like really pissed off bears on tricycles.
"H-he's.... **** it! Battoman'y?b? wa, daunb?to!!" Blake said with more gusto.
Rishiram and Zekrom dressing up in batman suits, donning massive boxing gloves, and mysteriously throwing giant metal cheese wheels of death at a group of fat dudes dressed as ninjas. They were, in their opinion, not very happy with this turn of events.
The two legendary Pokemon, beat the living **** out of the Batman of Zen Er Arg. The small army of Missing Numbers however, simply tore the two apart before exploding in a shower of really cute fluffy animals cursed with cataclysmic spastic crapping syndrome, in with they crapped out rainbows that smelled exactly like rainbow colored farts.
"What the Frathnic?" Enigmatt shouted as he and Magnus viewed the whole battle from the safety of the sky boxes. Magnus watched as Blake waved his hand, and used the force to slam Morgan like a pinball between two platforms, clotheslining him with a third, and sandwiching him between two more.
"Aw damn! Blake's rocking Pokemon, the Force, and Batman all in one try! DAMN! That's gonna earn him so serious cred!" He whooped as Rnigmatt nudged him with his shoulder.


'Rock, paper, pokemon!?' statistics: (click to read)

