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"OKC IM stories!" -> "Angry Black (Super tanned) 34 year old woman" -> "ABW part 2"

ABW part 3  by dr3arms

carcy per teleported out of the monstrosity of the black plain and in'to a dark room with ten elders dressed in dark forboding robes, with ancien't runic symols on them in an unknown text. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!?" One elder screamed at the top of his lungs, nearly straining himself in'to a coughing frenzy as woman next ot him patted him on the back and handed him a glass of water. "What is the meaning of this... I don'tk now, I'm just a spectator, and occasional commen'tator to this sadl ittle game you play with our place of education. Cna you tell me what the meaning of this actually is?" Four others dressed in black with white spots murmured amongst them selves.


"The true purpose of this, is a simple one at that, one that has been played out once before, in accordance with out tribunal customs, with our long forgotten past and prophecy..." Carcy motioned the one speaking to con'tinue impatien'tly. "We need another member added to our roster. the next elder elected shall be forced in'to a dual with a mighty and infinitely powerful beast that has been long since dorman't." Carcy had heard enough lunacy and turned away from the elders with a huff in his mind about what this could all mean.


"Just promise me one thing... Don't let this end like you let it end for my brother."

the elders smiled evily as they waved him off with there bony hands. "You have no say in the matter, we shall do as we see fit to that group of people just like we did your precious thadeus three arms. now go! And con'tinue to observe there bickering carcy per." The elder speaking paused for just a momen't before con'tinuing. "And remember to smile!"


as soon as carcy left the room, the elders were in an uproar about how they should finish off the newest members of the bebate society. "Lets just have them fight the squishadow again, its not like we have anything better to throw at them." "The shuishadow!? is that really all we have to throw at them?" "I was thinking maybe using the gian't purple bunny, or maybe the suicidal singing carrots" With that utterance the whole room was quiet for half an hour while trying to con'timplate the meaning of that sen'tence. "Singing... Carrots... that are suicidal? I wasn't even aware they had feelings to begin with!"


after another half an hour of trying to think of a good way to end this debate society they figured out something very very true. they were all very very old, they had been stuck in that room for a very very long time, and one of them really liked the musical cats. "Cats!?" "You have to be joking! A bunch of people glammed up like eighties rockstars, prancing about in tights and fake cat ears, screeching about how they wan't to **** this one female cat?" My god man, have you lost your feeble old mind?" The doors opened again and much to there surprise, a man that looked like he had come from the gates of hell, while being stabbed in the face by a package of sourpatch kids, stumbled in'to the room.


"I have a solution." Was all that he said before he succumbed to his wounds.

there was a general murmur among the elders about the real purpose of this in'teruption and this new visitor. "What is the purpose of this!? nobody sees the izard!" The woman next to him slapped him upside the head with a simple smile. "Wrong movie." The newcomer simply was passedo ut and the elders wouldn't lift a finger to help him. "I... Can help you... if help me..." The figure began to float in mid air as evil energies ripped through out the large and vast room, scorching the elders very souls, there minds, no longer, weak and feeble, no longer idle to constan't change of subjects or blithering idiocy. "We see that you will get help very soon!"


as the elders became aware of there fates at the hands of this creature beyong ages, beyond time, and apparen'tly beyond morals as he summoned the three fiercest warriors in the known universe, and some one they could just beat the hell out of when the time came for them to relieve some boredom. "Dawg gone it and I was just getting to the good part as well. I guess I'll never beat the kitten chasing an rc car." Said the first, his eyes glowing the brightest and purest of red. "I like the color red. it reminds me of the color of blood. I like to imagine myself covred in blood." Said the second in a thick austrian accen't. "Could you just please take your **** seats before I beat your pedophile cats loving asses down!?" Said the third, adjusting his jacket and the strap to his shot gun holder. "AHHHH! SON OF A BITCH! YOU THREE ARE HERE!?" Said the fourth, still crying tears of shame from his encoun'ters with them from his previos ven'ture.


the elders themselves laughed in unison as there minds became sharper then lasers and there youth had been returned to them, except for the guy who liked the cats musical, instead, he was crushed by the wieght of the universe taking a singularity of a crap on him for like such a stupid and ridiculous show. "You there, I wan't the names all of ten of the council members.... I'm sorry, nine. nine members of the council of elders." The first of the elders stood up. "I shall do the in'troductions, because obviosly, I'm the oldest out of all of you. seriously, you turn three hundred and you think your a big shot because your hip doesn't shatter from a gust of wind. Anyways, my name is clyde, to my right are jim, bob, alex, karl, melinda, sarah, heena, kim, christina, and the person crushed by the enormous mound of **** would have been an'ton."

the creature smiled with glee as it raised one of its thousands of hands and poin'ted towards the group it had just summoned. "My, my, my, we have names now don't we? clyde was it?" Clyde nodded in earnest as he remebered something in what felt like the first time in his life. "I JUST HAD A THOUGHT! An'ton was a complete ****. THAT WAS THE THOUGHT!" The creature simpled gigled in expectation, "Clyde, leader of the ten-" "nine." "-nine, elders, and holder of all that mysterious stuff you love so much. may I in'troduce ot you, THE most deadliest fighting force... And there punching bag, the ****, that this very plane has ever seen!" Jim stood up and looked at the team with a bit of distrust. "But this is the first team weve ever seen though... how can we be sure that theyll get the job done the way WE wan't them too?"


the creature looked up at jim, and in an instan't he was also crushed under the massive wieght of a universaly taken crap. "HOLY **** THAT SMELLS!" Kim said as she ran over to where the elder jim one was siting. "Oh well, joe was an ****. Clyde were down to eight elders now." "As I WAS saying, the most deadliest team ever created," The creature took a breath with excitmen't. he had been savoring this momen't from the first time that he had stepped in'to the room. "Barney saget! The most determined rapist and host of a family show that there ever was!"Barney saget stepped in'to the light of the room, which just happened to be a big assed tangle of christmas lights. "Um... hi? and..... whered our little ballin run off to!?" The creature took no notice and con'tinued with the in'troductions. "next we have the guy that brings down more pedophiles- like an'ton- with his trusty four hundred gauge shotgun then any other news caster, chris hansen!" Chris hansen stepped in'to the light and looked at the spot where an'ton was one alive and sitting. "Take a.... never mind, I'm going to go look for ballin with barney now."


the creature laughed evily as the third and final member of the team walked up with out any in'troduction and simply stated "I LIKE TO TEACH PEOPLE MANNERS IN HUMILIATING WAYS! DO IT! DO IT NOW!" "Arnold? you can calm down now, besides, it looks like your primary target is over there. welcome back an'ton!" Clyde exclaimed happily as an'tons wounds healed instan'tly again and his body was forced upright and shouted, "I AM An'tON MYB LURED! WHERE LITTLE TIMMY!?" Chris hansens head jerked towards an'tons voice lightning quick as he sped over and rammed his weapon in'to an'tons brain. "I said... TAKE A **** SEAT!"


mean while, back in the vast expanse known to the group as the black plain, carcy had just arrived to hear the fat, fake black woman, camil eon, make a another sarcastic commen't towards won derr in a mean and nasty tone of voice with hin'ts of glee and rage. "I call 'em like I see 'em won. And all I see is a sad little mixed up mongrel bitch, who would rather attempt to dress down a real Black woman instead of just finding the white man you long for." She looked at won with a slight hin't of jeolosy. "Run along and do that." She then turned to sherrice and noticed that carcy per had returned. "Good luck with that. Try Howard. Carcy? where the **** have you been? off stealing cars or something of the like?" Carcy wan'ted to shoot her in the face with a rocket launcher, but he had other priorities that he had been charged with. "no, I was simply debating whether or not I should give you a slice of watermelon for the act your putting up thus far."

camile was pissed now. "Damn mexican, I'm 32 years old! I can get one of you little south of the border bastards anytime I wan't! I've got more cushion for the pushin!" Won couldn't help but laugh as she realized that the fat hutlike woman sitting beside her was 32 years of age. "32? Really? what happened, couldn't get a date on maturesex. Com?" Sherrice also joined in the fun. "A 'real' black woman?" She laughed un'til she fell on the floor, trying to catch her breath. "Please bitch, the only thing black about you is the way you take your coffee, and even that has cream in it!" The gian't purple king of the rabbits, couldn't help but join in on the fun. "What makes you the empress of black people?" His eyes widened with enjoymen't as he con'tinued, "The bunny balls your hiding somewhere in the many folds of fat you desperatly try to hide with a "Juicy" Shirt? trust me, the only thing juicy about you is the sweat between your layers of blubber!"


timmy started to go in'to a little hip hop routine as he also joined in on the fun, beat boxing as he did so making aden laugh harder then shed ever in the time that shed known him. "Nigga please! Nigga, Nigga please!!! Nigga please! Nigga, Nigga please!!!" He ended it with a beat poet pose that made even carcy per start to giggle, but he quickly stifled it before anyone took notice. wes pal finished another glass of beer from the infinitely full keg next to his chair, and declared his thoughts on grad jun as king. "I declare Graduate KING of the bunnies and all thumpers alike! LONG LIVE THE KING! SHORT LIVE CAMILE THE SLUT! HIC!" Camile eon was not happy at all and made an epic fail at a few jokes of her own. "Black is in caps, hon. Maybe one day you'll be a real Black woman." The laughter started to die down, "I don't think wonderwoman has the melanin for it." It then became chuckling, "Ooh, racial injustice. Stomp it out, won derrwoman."And then it completely stopped. "**** you and go lose some wieght you fat nigga." Timmy said in retaliation.

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  'ABW part 3' statistics: (click to read)
Date created: Nov. 19, 2011
Date published: Nov. 19, 2011
Comments: 0
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Word Count: 2281
Times Read: 477
Story Length: 1