The story so far:
Latshawnicia. That bitch. by dr3arms
Antimo and Nordafet had just lost the Hyperwolfs trail.
He was right there in front of them, and the fact that the Puppet King and the Bloody Knight were complaining about the lack of progress hadn't made any peace with the fact.
"****." Nordafet shouted, his white eye flaring for just a second. Antimo could relate.
"Well, we can just trace his signature-" The Bloody Knight started to say when a bland looking door grew out of the ground in front of them.
"Or, and here's a thought," Barney Fife thought aloud, "We could just open that door, and hope for a **** miracle."
"Nordafet, what do you think?" Antimo asked with a hint of annoyance at their new friends annoying antics.
"Well..." The Deom started calmly. "We have no choice in the matter. Let's go through the door. Wait, who's that!?"
He became startled at the sight of a short, frumpled looking woman with shoulder length brown hair tied into twin ponytails, wearing a pair of blue jeans, a white shirt with a sky blue vest over that. She sat in a brown wooden chair with a red cushion for the seat, and calmly adjusted her glasses while looking at the curious group in front of her.
"I'm Alana. who are you?" She asked in a sort of bewildered state.
"Well... The real question is, Alana, what are you doing sitting there in front of the door?" The Bloody Knight asked, a little perturbed that some random woman could dare usurp the attention he was getting.
"Don't know really, I was sitting outside the librarys event room, reading this wierd little book titled Cowl, and than poof! Here I am!" Alana replied without much revelation that something extremely out of the ordinary had just happened.
"Well, considering all we've been through... Anyways, we're trying to find our friend, and since you're kinda new here, want to tag along?" Nordafet asked kindly enough.
"No. I'm fine, thank you for asking though!" She replied sweetly.
The Doem looked at his friends with a questioning look, as if to suggest they take her anyways.
"This place can get rather dangerous at times, are you SURE you want to stay here?" Antimo asked urgently, as if he sensed something stupid were about to happen, yet again.
Alana looked up at the wierd looking creature infront of her, and decided that what she was indeed experiencing, was a dream.
At least, she hoped it was a dream.
"Yes. I'm sure I'm fine. Besides, this door will protect me. Watch!" She shouted happily as the Army of Dutch Rainbow Colored Squirrels swarmed all around them, their chittering sounds only recognizable to those in their wierdly colored ranks.
The door immediately sprouted seven thousand five hundred caliber cannons and ripped the wierd little army apart.
"See?" Alana stated happily.
The door opened with a slight creak, as if to tell them to get the **** along or they'd face the same punishment.
Barney Fife, in a moment of absolute clarity, that was in no part influenced by the show of, in his own words, "Oh my crap shooting gawd!" power the door had displayed, he voted they move along.
Nordafet seconded the motion.
Antimo thirded it.
And the Bloody Knight, being the arrogant little bastard he was, flipped the door off.
This was met with five minutes of point blank shelling the crap out of the spot where he stood from the door.
Afterwards, what little remained of him simply burst into flames.
This was met by the cheers of two squirrels that had survived the utter defeat of their army.
This too, was met by five more minutes of shelling them to itty bitty pieces.
The trio decided to run through the door as fast as **** possible and wish Alana all the best in her future endevors.
Once on the other side, they found themselves back at Sword and Scythe Productions main office where they had first met Blake.
"Hello!?" Nordafet shouted, and after a few minutes, repeated the action.
This got no response what so ever.
The receptionist was at her station, and she clearly saw the trio enter the front door.
She chose to ignore them and finish her not so important conversation.
"He said what!? OH MY GAWD! Latishawnwanicia should totally dump him for that alone! iIknow right!? So you were saying that Christophashisha beat you in Words With Friends? He did!? OH MY GAWD! Latishawanicia should totally dump him for that alone! So what'd you and Dad do over the weekend? Vegas?"
Nordafet began to get annoyed.
"He did what!? He punched the Elvis preacher? That's no so bad. Latishawanicia should dump him for that! I mean, it's weird that she's dating three guys, including her own dad... But you gotta give her credit!"
Antimo became pissed.
Someone had solved all the puzzles in the Highlights magazines that were spread across the waiting room table.
What infuriated him beyond belief was the fact that the Goofus and Gallant cartoons were crayoned over with swear words and the phrase "Cheesey cheesey cheesey!" written repeatedly across all the pages.
He immediately blamed Latishawanicia.
"That. ****. Bitch." He swore under his breath.
The pointless conversation went on for another fifty minutes before the receptionist, who was clearly mentally deficient in company policy never to talk about Latishawanicia out loud, over the phone, on Facebook or any other online media surge, hung up the phone.
And with an annoyed look like the trio had interrupted a life or death situation, coughed.
"We'd like to see Blake?" The Puppet King asked innocently enough.
The receptionist, driven into a villianous rage, her mind shattered into billions of exploding stars, in which her only salvation was act like a total psychotic **** bitch to them.
"DO YOU HAVE A **** APPOINTMENT YOU USELESS **** TARDS!?" She screeched like a Howler Monkey being nuetered without pain relievers.
"Why are you yelling at us!?" Nordafet complained as the receptionist bounded onto her desk, beat her chest like a pissed off silverback gorilla, and roared even louder her typical response to off the street and customers alike who were needing to see the co-founder of the building.
"BECAUSE I **** CAN YOU HORRID PEICES OF CRAP! NOW DO YOU HAVE A **** APPOINTMENT OR NOT!? ANSWER THE QUESTION!?"
Antimo was pushed to him limit.
"**** YOU MR. PRESIDENT!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. "Do you know what we've been through!?"
The receptionist took wild offense to this. "Do YOU know what I'VE been through in the last ten minutes!?" She asked more annoyed than a normal receptionist should ever be at potential customers.
"I've been comfortin my best friend, cause, she's all like, depressed and stuff-"
"WE REALLY DON'T CARE! JUST GIVE THE DAMNED INFORMATION YOU HIGHLIGHTS RUINING PSYCHO!"
"That was all Latishawanicias fault! She was all like, going through everything, and that girls crazay! You know one time she decided to go for a drive, and I was like, totally not in the mood to read her Tweets! She was like 'Going to the store!' 'I'm going to give to charity!' 'Going on a date!' Woman! Do I, like, want to listen to you bitch and complain all day about how bad yo life sucks!? Imma busy working girl! Ive got to pick this phone up ALL-"
"Shut up." Antimo said simply.
"-day, and talk to people! You know that my jaw should be working on this pack of gum instead talking to people? I mean-"
"Please for the love of god shut up?" He asked politely.
"-people are just so inconsiderate! What about my needs? I get paid to deal with people ALL DAY. Listening to THEIR problems instead of the other way around!"
"They're all 'Is Blake in? I need to go over some prospects for future projects.' or 'I need to get in touch with Corperate, do you have their number on file?' or even 'Well, I'm going home.' I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR YO DUMB **** DRAMA PEOPLE! I'VE GOT THESE NAILS TO FILE!"
"I SAID SHUT THE FLYING OVER THE TOP **** UP OR FOR THEL OVE OF GAWD I SHALL RIP YOUR JAW OFF, CRAM IT DOWN YOUR THROAT, AND THEN SNAP YOU DEMONIC JIBBAJABBIN NECK OFF YOUR **** BODY YOU STUPID IGNORANT BITCH!" Antimo roared at the top of his lungs, clutching a crumpled Highlights magazine in his white knuckled fists.
"God! All you needed to do was ring the bell and I would've taken your question! Where's you common kindness?" The receptionist complained yet again.
It took every single once of strength that Nordafet, Antimo, and Barney Fife had together not to knock her freakishly bobbing and weaving head into her rib cage.
"Can you answer us? We really just want to know where blake is." The Puppet King said with a harried tone of voice.
"No. He's not in. He's next door at the hospital where Latishawanicia-"
"I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT INCESTIOUS LITTLE PRAT! SHUT UP ABOUT HER!" Barney snapped as he stomped out the door, followed by the equally ticked off Deom and Antimo.
"Pricks." She muttered under her breath.
Just loud enough for the Puppet King to hear it.
He calmly went back into the office.
Walked up to her in a kindly fashion.
And jammed his hand straight through her forehead.
Dropping her like a fly.
"Thank you for your help! have a nice funeral. Bitch."
'Latshawnicia. That bitch.' statistics: (click to read)