The story so far:
The arena which constructed itself seemed like a burst open rib cage in its demented design. Huge chunks of blocky meat hung from the towering pillars of bleached bone white pillars. Omegalpha stood silently on his platform, gaging how the humans would first attack. Blake readied himself, Skylar looked eager to join Omegalpha's side, Daniel let the darkness flow over him, Bobby changed into his Draconic Archon state, and for some reason, Billy Mayes was shouting at a tree holding a can of marmalade. this infuriated omegalpha to the point where he simply bought the jar of marmalade, threw it at billy mayes, and then burnt the tree.
"O... Kay... Now onto-" Omegalpha was interrupted when Daniel flung the fire extinguisher at him, slamming into his face, and by logical conclusion, landing him in the final thirty seconds of the Price is Right.
"CREDIT SCROLL!" Bob Barker shouted as the credits rolled over Omegalpha, leaving Blake to wonder if he had truly gone over the edge.
"You still had that thing from the fight with Ozzy Archon?" Bobby asked, still freaking out over the fact that he had fused with himself.
"But wasn't it empty?"
"And you just flung it at him!?"
"No... Yeah." Daniel replied with a grin on his face. Bobby wondered if the guy with the hot dog cart had been following them. Blake tapped him on the shoulder.
"Uh, bud? I think it was Billy Mayes that we're supposed to fight, not whatever Omegalpha was!" Blake was right, Billy Mayes had once again started shouting at the burnt down remains of the tree with yet another jar of marmalade.
"HI! I'M BILLY MAY-OOF!" The sales person shouted, but he was punched in the face by a recently deaf person.
"HI I'M BILLY MAYES WITH ANOTHER AMAZING
"BUT DON'T YOU WANT TO-"
"BUT IT'S ME! I'M BILLY MAYES-"
"SHUT UP BILLY MAYES! NO LIKES YOU ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU CURE DEAFNESS WITH YOUR CONSTANT SHOUTING, AND THEN LIKE THE SHOUTING THORN IN THE **** YOU ARE, YOU MAKE THE UNDEAF DEAF AGAIN!"
"Okay..." billy seemed a little depressed. but then omegalpha revealed his true form. "IT'S MORPHIN TIME!" He shouted as the fusion brought out his morpher. "DRAGON ZORD!" Omegalpha shouted as green lightening slammed into his form, causing a green flimsy jumpsuit to wrapped itself around him while a green ranger howloween mask slapped onto his face.
"TRICERATOPS!" Billy Mayes shouted as blue fog wrapped around his fat, bloated form and exploded with pure universal energies. when the smoke cleared, he was in the process of painting himself blue, wearing nothing but a texan belt, a leopard print thong, a christmas scarf with a melting snowman with a look of traumatized terror on his face knitted into it, a blue ranger howlween mask, and a bright yellow hard hat.
"MOTHER OF GOD! THEY'VE BASTARDIZED THE ORIGINAL POWER RANGERS!" Skylar shouted, attemtpting to claw his own eyes out of instantaneous loss of all hope. "I MEAN, THEY COULD'VE AT LEAST CHOSEN ANOTHER SEASON, LIKE NINJA STORM OR EVEN SAMURAI RANGERS! WHY GOD!? WHY!?!" He screamed as tears of hate streamed from his face.
Blake's anger reached new heights.
"That's it. I've had it with all of this insanity. What you've done..." He began calmly of the power of the Skeletal Angels elements wrapping around him like a comforting blanket. "Is unforgivable!" He said the last few words with such force that his true potential ripped outwards in the form of a golden light that shot up and outwards.
"He has transcended! He's reached Super Mulletayian one!" Billy shouted as he concentrated and formed warped tupper ware lids in the form of giant sais. Blake's normally well kept hair style exploded outwards, growing, glowing a bright yellow and standing on end as it reached his feet.
Bobby was impressed.
"What the **** just happened!?" Skylar shouted as he stared at the two poor imitations. "thats okay... MAKE MY BOBBY GROW!" he suddenly shouted while throwing a stick at the draconic arhon. it had as much effect as one would hope when throwing a stick at someone. "that really hurt!" bobby shouted at the top of his lungs. WHAT THE HELL MAN!?" "dude, im sorry, i just... you know... got into the moment." "SO YOU WENT ALL RITA REPULSA ON ME!?" "yeah..." "well... at least you... what the ****!?" bobby shouted as he became a demon spawn of robo cop and swamp thing. roots shot out of his face, making him look like someone with roots coming out of his face.
"MULLET BEAM ATTACCO TACO!" Blake shouted while he whipped his godlike golden mullet back and forth, releasing wave after wave of explosive taco shaped beams upon the Blue and Green Rangers.
"HA!" The two of them laughed as Billy threw his warped tupperware lids as Bobby, who was in the process of shaving off his constantly growing roots. They simply wobbled in the air and fell onto the ground, meanwhile, the mullet beams hit them with the force of a mac truck smashing into a rotten pumpkin at several hundred miles per hour. Billy's paint job simply exploded off his body, while Omegalpha's green jumpsuit became torn on the chest.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?" He shouted in anger.
'I think its time we gave up this little charade Nordafet.' Reason thought inwardly to the Deom.
'Maybe, but let's at least do it with a final move.' Nordafet replied back.
'How can we? We're powerless against the Super Mulletayian!' Reason thought back, panicked.
'We really only can counter the Mullet. We Have HER hair extensions.'
'NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT PERSON!'
'We have no other choice reason.'
Omegalpha walked over to Billy Mayes, and in a grand tradition of doing the right thing, Billy began to shout about his jar of marmalade.
"HI! I'M BILLY MAYES, AND I'VE GOT A WONDERFUL NEW PRODUCT FO-"
Omegalpha simply pulled his head off, spine and still beating heart attached. "We sacrifice this willing-"
"I'VE GOT A JAR OF MARMALADE! WHY WON'T ANYONE LISTEN TO ME!?" Billy's head sputtered before finally shutting the hell up.
"-semi willing lamb to summon up the one goddess of hair extensions, horrid make up, and annoyed screeching that only a deaf, blind, mute, armless pro wrestler could truly love!" The fusion shouted like a shaky Jerry Springer guest.
"No... Anyone but her!" The head of Billy Mayes sputtered with demoincally instilled hate.
"WE SUMMON BRENCHAL!"
"I'm back bitches! Vegaaaaas!"
Daniel's rage built to its maximum, and then spilled outwards, his stance became straightened, his hair perfectly combed and parted, his left eyebrow slightly raised as a news caster suit simply appeared on him, for no other reason then because it just could.
"So! What have those cowardly Democrats sent at us this time around folks!?" He shouted as a red aura fueled him to even greater heights of evil and darkness.
Blake's anger spiked rapidly, his mullet now changing from a bright yellow to a almost white speckled starry midnight black.
"HE'S GONE SUPER MULLETAYIAN THIRTY FOUR!" Omegalpha shouted, pointing brenchal in the direction of Blake, who was now cupping his hands together.
"KERO... MEH... KERO... MEH... KEROHAI!" He shouted as a beam of instaneous super heated plasma jet slammed outwards from the small spark in his hands.
"VEGA... VEGA... OMNI VEGAS SLASH!" Brenchal shouted as the transvestite's long nails sparked and shot blades of super frigid bitch power outwards, the two collided as Daniel, now in his Super Colbertayian form sat on a rock, stared at the burnt down tree and pulled out his marker and pointed it at the slowly growing beam of black and white.
"Gun of Truthiness." He said simply, the marker shot a bullet through Brenchal's head, but she was still standing.
"Super gun of Truthiness!" Daniel shouted. A bigger bullet slammed into the Surviving Big Brother star, with little damage.
"TERATRUTHINESS!" He screamed as several tiny drink umbrellas jammed themselves into her armpits for no apparent reason. This seemed to do the trick as she screamed in rage, letting her guard down for a single instant. The beam of super condensed energies shredded through her and forced her every angle of existence, ever, to be erased from the very root directories of time and space itself.
"Republicans win yet another battle of awesome sausage!" Daniel exclaimed, pointing his marker at Omegalpha.
Bobby, finished with his extreme shaving make over, looked rather tan. And enraged passed the point of no return.
"I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS ****!" He shouted. "I'M GONNA GO GET MY DRINKY ON AND PARTY TILL THE COWS COME HOME!" He raged as he pumped his Droconian Archaic fist into the air several times. His body roaring with all the spark and spunk of Jersey Shore. The hair became a glowering symbol of Snookiness while a tube top faded upon his being and ten inch heels popped onto his feet.
"Oh no! No! Nonononononononono!" Skylar shouted as he beheld what horror of the darkest corner of the universe, of the overtanned, fist pumping, slightly below moronic powers he had unleashed. Omegalpha wasn't sure whether to be overwhelmed with this new devolpement or simply shocked at the fact the Bobby's latent power had him nailed down with cross dressing.
"Um... What?" He simply replied in the massive level of wrong that happened to emaciate the whole grand level of tension that had been built up.
"Super Snookayian twenty five? No... That's... I just... This is too much... I quit... Game over man! Game over! Please for the love of God, something awesome happen!" The glowing head of Billy Mayes shouted in protest, as Skylar rage quit his current power level. He became the ultimate in super **** that had developed in the last several hours.
"NO MORE! I am Ripper... Tearer... Slasher... Gouger. I am the Teeth in the Darkness, the Talons in the Night. Mine is Strength... and Lust... and Power! I AM BEOWULF! FACE ME!" He roared as his red hair became that of the Viking god Thor, pony tailed down to his waist, as his body filled out to muscular proportions and bangles and shin guards of awesomeness roared onto his arms and legs. "I am super beowolfayian level seven hundred and seventy seven! COME AT ME BRO!" Skylar roared as his summoned two colossal dual bladed Zwiehander type beam swords of Ultimate Godliness.
Omegalpha received a hidden command from Morgan.
"He is ready. I'll open a portal for you. I must admit that you are truly worthy to join his cause and party. No longer are you mere Humans with barely passable skills anymore, you are now up to his level of strength, speed, courage..." The Fusion trailed off as he came to the forth word to describe exactly what Bobby had become.
"What about me?" The Super Snookayian asked hopefully, still pumping his fist into the air, his power growing every pump.
"Uniqueness. Let's go with that." The Fusion said as his body began to split in two. "I am sorry for having to deceive you like this, but we wanted to make sure that you guys could handle the supremely epic level of battle he's going to throw at you." Nordafet said as he and Reason finished the unmerging.
"Yeah, normally, Morgan would probably throw something a trillion times more insane at anyone else." Reason finished.
Daniel looked at the Deom with some curiosity. "Blake, is that a Shaliory?"
Nordafet seemed a bit miffed. "ME!? A SHALIORY!? How dare you sir!"
Blake had to laugh at this mix up. "Nah dude, Nordafet's not a Shaliory! Enigmatt has one, I'm sure he'll show you Shadowmatt when we get out of this crazy place. By the way Nordafet, how much time has actually passed outside of the Holoworld?"
The Deom thought for a second, looked at the point where he knew Enigmatt's face would be, and then turned back to Blake. "I think about ten minutes, time moves differently in technological terms then in real time. I thought you would've figured that out by now Blake."
"I didn't know! So sue me!" Blake replied, throwing his hands up in the air.
"Seriously Bobby... What the ****." Skylar roared with untold levels of power, the clouds parting, the atmosphere shattering, and Bobby's Super Snookayian becoming Super Norrisayian.
"That is awesome." Blake sighed, his faith in humanity once again being restored.
Reason and Nordafet snapped their fingers and a Red Hole portal opened up, and the center of the ten by fourteen foot opening pulling into itself, spiraling with red, blue, green, yellow, black and white energies till a tiny opening revealed the darkness of the throne room that Morgan had fashioned out of the cave appeared.
"Welcome, to the Final Boss. I hope you're all ready for this, cause I aint holding nothing back!" Morgan announced as the four entered the portal.
"This... Should be good. Nordafet and Reason whispered in unison as they faded into the ground.
The men looked at each other, their new levels of power shattered the blocky mountains behind them. "Holy crap, Daniel, that was an epic level fart of Truthiness." skylar announced to the team leader.
"That it was Skylar. That it was." And with that, they walked into the final test of their journey.
The swirling vortex of energies rippled and swayed as the four walked down the seemingly endless path way. They were deathly silent, not daring, nor wishing, to say a word to each other, for fear that even the slightest whisper would tear the path apart, leaving them stranded in the endless nothing they thought lurked just beyond. Bobby's eyes wandered, looking at the strange and mystifying patterns that wriggled into and out of his line of sight.
'Amazing.' He thought to himself. 'If we beat him, we get to join him. If we lose however... We die.' His forehead wrinkled with thoughts deep enough to carve a deep groove into the oceans floor. Blake simply yawned, he was getting a little tired of all the walking they had been doing.
"Hey guys, since we're able to make anything just with words, doesn't that mean we'll able to make transportation as well?" he asked, a little frought to get to the part where his foot was lodged deeply and nicely down Morgan's throat.
"Yeah, that does kinda make sense, and who knows just how long this portal is anyways." Dan thought aloud. The thin, scraggly, dark haired man had been team leader for the better part of three weeks now, and during that time, he had seen a sample of the wonderfully terrifying things that Morgan must've seen during his time here.
"So, what are we waiting for? ?iklu tad-dawl t?arrek!" Skylar shouted as a beams of light spun around slowly drawing up a squad of light cycles from them to ride.
"Did not know we could do that... I'll have to remember for next time!" Daniel exclaimed, jumping on the dark blue lightcycle. Blake hopped into the brilliant green one and revved the engine a few times. He was greeted with what sounded like a thousand aging fax machines ripping out his ear drums.
"WHAT THE **** UP HELL IS THIS!?" He screamed as the four covered their ears and buckled down in pain. It didn't stop for another two minutes, and then silence.
The engines purred softly, like a babbling brook if James Earl Jones had done the voice work for them.
"Much better." A voice said from inside of their heads.
"Wait a minute- I know THAT voice!" Skylar yelped.
"Yeah. Nice to meet up with you again. Son." The voice replied, unhappily.
"Son? You're not my father!?"
"Search your feelings! You know it to be true!" The voice replied back. It was a strange sensation, all four of them heard the same voice, but no one could pin it until a faint purple aura wafted through the air. Blake blew a hole through the purple fog.
"Yeah, no mistaking it. Holoahl is here." He whispered in sudden fear as the fog condensed together.
"Oh I'm not THAT bad blake. I'm actually the voice for the computer system in the lightcycles."
It took him a while to register what had just been said. "Whoa! Whoa whoa whoa!"
"Blake... I'm a hologram. Not a horse. You dont tell a Holo to 'Whoa'. You tell him to cease current operational parameters instantly." Blake squinted his eyes as he saw Bobby hop onto the bright red lightcycle. "Anyways, I just wanted to announce myself, and give you the news regarding the Holoverse in general." There was a pause. Skylar got tired of waiting and climbed into the dark orange light cycle. The fit was rather interesting. As was the feeling of holding onto a hard light substance without falling out of the bottom.
"O... Kay." He whispered nervously.
Their uniforms grew onto their bodies like General Sherman tree bark, it had a soft buzzing sound, like that of a pillow being slapped repeatedly. Bobby liked that noise and was impressed. Daniel closed the visor on his helmet and talked into the microphone provided. "Alright boys, strap up, sit down, and light the fuse, we're going to see how far these roman candles shoot, and then take out the papa bear at the end of the yellow brick road!" Daniel hit the throttle and in a single instant, **** his pants at how fast he was going. A light trail blazing behind him like a signal flair for the others to follow.
Blake did the same. "You heard the man! Let's ride!" He too blazed forward, surprised at how smooth the acceleration was. Bobby and Skylar were close behind him.
"Holoahl, just how far until we hit the end of this snake skin?" Bobby asked, unware that the portal had closed behind him and was steadily catching up to them.
"I would say another thirteen feet."
"Why that short!?" Daniel demanded.
"Well, in Holoterms, thirteen feet is something like fourteen miles."
"Didn't you already tell us something like that!?" Skylar asked, annoyed at the voice of the computer. "More importantly, why can't you sound like Fez!? FEZ IS COOL DAMN IT!" He bellowed.
Holoahl rebuked him with a simple "**** no. Don't worry, it'll take at least another fifteen to one hundred seconds to reach the end." Holoahl finished, the link buzzing softly as the four men decided to test gravity as well. Skylar closed his eyes and thought of his lightcycle sprouting jets, and suddenly found he was roaring past Daniel, the way ahead looking like a spin art gone mad with a need to slow down.
"I'm gonna be sick you guys!"
"STOP TELLING US THESE THINGS!"
Daniel shouted as he spotted the end of the portal, its spiral reversing direction every so often.
Morgan waited patiently. He could afford to wait, after all, he had given his friends the best of training to try and stop the Chasm of Nonexistence. 'Do you really think we'd let you make such a stupid choice on your own?' He heard Antimo whisper into his ear.
"Yes. Yes I did. What happened with Linheber Ed and the Fragments of Reality?" The human asked, not bothering to enjoy these last interesting moments.
"Well, they reached the Core, Linheber gathered every one of the little bastards..." Antimo shouted with a little bit of annoyance. His voice trailed off into the distance.
"Lemme guess. He tried to cast them in one of his plays and they actually got done what he wanted?" Morgan asked, a little confident about his guess.
"Pretty much, had a decent run of it too! Anyways, they got to the Core and it wiped all of them out. The only two to survive were Alpha and Omega-" Antimo's voice cut off, as if he were suddenly distracted. "Listen, I've got to go take care of a few things, just know that the Door will always take you in, no matter where you end up." Morgan could detect a little vagueness in his voice. Something wasnt right, but he couldn't place it.
'One of the four Demon Directors, wiped out!? This might make things a bit worse later on down the road. Linheber had the kind of strength that the Chasm could've used in some ways. But that still doesn't explain why the Door and Chasm, two sides so restrictively against one another, are now working together like nothing bad was going on between them. Well, hopefully, I'll be able to give them the information they need while duking it out with them. Reason, Nordafet, I'm going to ask a favor of you.' Morgan thought inwardly, he could feel the Deom and his Alter shift around in his mind, slowly waking up.