The story so far:
"Uch? no sutairu: Jigen no sakeme ga sh?kan: Butai 189 no tekunikku kara akuma g?rusukauto: Kukk? no doraibu k?geki!" Reason tore his thumb, and planted the shining blood onto the Ocean Colossi backs. Then watched, as a twist in the air ruptured into a cloud, releasing a chaotic horde of the most hideous renditions of Joan Rivers in Girl Scout uniforms, as they were flapping the loose skin from hundreds of botched face tucks, like giant wings.
"Are you going to buy some marshmallow mints, or do I have to show you true ugliness!?" she hoarsely screeched as she ripped out two of her ribs, and smiled wickedly as they formed scythes. The Golden Strands, Joseph, Alpha, and Omega all screamed like nitwits as the girl scouts poured from the tear in space time.
"You have already shown me true despair, just by looking at your decomposing face, HOW DARE YOU ASK ME TO BUY MARSHMALLOW MINTS YOU HIDEOUS BITCH!" the Golden Strands shouted loudly, as he flung his arms outwards, undoing the carefully compacted strands that made up his form, and warping them around Joan Rivers neck. "My strands are more powerful than your folds you basset hound of an old woman!"
Reason wasn’t having very much fun with this attack as he had been kicked in the crotch repeatedly till he admitted that he wasn’t due a refund because he hadn’t attended a scout meeting in over two days. "SAY IT!"
"NO!" the argument went as thousands more poured from the rift and ripped free from their huge bindings.
"Finally! We’re free!" she shouted as she threw her cap into the air.
Morgan missed a swing as Joseph kicked him in the face while slashing through two Joan Rivers that tried selling him a free subscription to 'Your **** Is Grass quarterly'. Needless to say, they failed. Alpha and Omega decided that their time was best spent trying to attract all the girl scouts attention on Team Red, they did this by posting on Facebook that Joseph and the Golden Strands were trying to throw a jamboree in honor of the one thousandth girl scout appearing through the dimensional rift.
"What!? How can this be!?" they shrieked, horrified at what they read and saw, and attacked the two mercilessly by kicking them in the crotch till they bought ten boxes of thin mints.
Joseph roared in disgust as the rivers horde slammed their fists maniacally into his already bashed in crotch. "Hav? ?ail?: C?ra candram?'?? bava??ara: Bikhara graha visph??a!" the Arhem man’s Red Velvet cake slammed through the thick almost unending clouds that crackled with lightning, roared and boomed with thunder till it pierced the outer atmosphere of the planet, rose into space, lost speed and re-entered the atmosphere. The ash that flaked off formed four giant moons of the deepest emerald hue. The moons then spun around one another like rocket powered tops and crashed into the deep oceans. The horde of girl scouts were flash frozen in the oncoming shockwave, their minds trying to comprehend what the **** just happened.
"Team Blue is stunned at the huge move Team Red is trying to pull off!" Jeff Probst decided to start announcing, much to the surprise of Julie.
"You... you’ve started announcing again!" she stammered in disbelief as the talent she had fallen for in Jeff suddenly came back to life.
"Morgan and Reason trying to avoid the moons shrapnel as it explodes-"
Julie cut Jeff off as they reached commercial break with her famous cliff ender question. "Will Team Blue pull off another miraculous victory while Omega is in such a critical state? Or will Team Red’s Joseph Arhem pull off the very much needed victory that will save himself and his house?"
The two looked longingly into their spouses eyes, and for a moment, it seemed almost like old times again.
The fight continued as the Golden Strands had taken out Alpha easily, was evenly matched against Omega for a while till a girl scout had punched him in the crotch, demanding repayment of a box of thin mints. Omega then took the chance and slashed his head, arms, and legs off before piercing his heart ten times. Joseph, still using his emerald moon technique flung wave after turbulent wave at the Fragments weakened body, slamming it deep into the ocean. Tidal waves ruptured from the bowels of the ocean floor as Alpha retrieved the irreparably damaged body of his beloved. Her body slowly turning to ash, as she cried out in torment to him.
"In another lifetime... we could have been happy!" she sobbed as her feet and legs were the first to go.
"But my love, we were happy, for the longest time, for eternities beyond counting, and soon, we shall be happy together once more." Alpha said quietly as the ashes filtered into his right eye.
The rest of Omega silently went the same way as Joseph waited calmly for the process to finish. He then snuck up behind Alpha tore his neck from between the Fragments head and shoulders, letting the remains fall like a ragdoll into the ocean. Morgan and Reason tried doing a double sided scythe lariat as the lightning flashed, but the blades only scratched the back of his neck and the front of his throat. The Arhem laughed happily as he thought about how his team would win this round soundlessly.
And then they cut his head off.
"Team Blue wins round two!" came the boastful cry from Holo-Julie as she faded into view. She had secretly fallen for Joseph Arhem, and gingerly picked up his head and slapped the exposed esophagus, causing him to both fart and belch at the same time.
"Team Blue wins the second match, thereby effectively taking out the Golden Strands, Joseph Arhem, Aneeh Arhem, and Resaec Dazzle! With only Caasi Gavin remaining in the house, how will she defend herself from the onslaught resulting from the new house and battlefield twists?" Julie said as she happily looked into the camera.
Jeff continued, "And now that the Fragments of Realty have been divided evenly amongst the three houses, how should they utilize the additional company? On top of that, the house annoyances have banded together! Find all the answers to your questions and more in the next installment of-" Julie wrapped her arms lovingly around Jeffs waist and peered over her husband’s shoulder as they said the title together. "Surviving Big Brother!"
Inside the red house, Caasi felt a sense of dread when she saw the frozen form of the Golden Strands and Joseph arhem be thrown unceremoniously down the stairs that lead to the basement. "This can’t be good..." the Bloody strands said as she changed her dress from a old Victorian era full length, to a more suitable tank top and knee length shorts. Resaec nodded his head towards her as the blue and white light slammed into his butt cheeks and flash froze him in one of the most interesting of poses ever. The former prince of the Nightmare Dimension was tossed down the stairs to meet his temporary end at the hands of the cement floor. Aneeh panicked as she ran from more to room, dodging the lights attacks from all sides, each time they missed, they doubled in number till they cornered her in the bathroom. By that point they had increased to a staggering two thousand, three hundred forty five lights.
Caasi heard her scream for mercy as the Arhem woman was flash frozen, and in an unusual display of kindness and generosity, the lights dropped her off the three hundredth STORY of a tree corporation. She didn’t really like the lights, but since she had been left alone in the house. Since there would be some down time before the Fragments were moved in, she thought about straightening up the place. she walked towards the kitchen and heard the doorbell ring.
"Caasi!?" she heard the muffled voice of her husband call from behind the door.
"Coming!" the short woman walked calmly to the door, making sure not to trip over the mounds of garbage that had piled up during the hour and a half they had been there. She looked around at the red house and wondered if she could change team colors now that most of her team was frozen.
"Are you going to open the door? I want to talk to you about the match..." Morgan said calmly. he knew she was the only one on team red now, and the fragments hadn’t arrived in the houses, and Julie could announce whatever the twist was going to be at any moment. He was shifting uncomfortably on the weirdly shaped doormat, that looked more hideous than it did welcoming. She opened the door a crack, and Morgan could see the part of her that was now the bloody strands shifting gently underneath her skin.
"What do you want Morgan?" she asked, almost annoyed that her husband wanted to talk to her.
"I wanted to make sure that every things okay with you, is that alright?"
Caasi sighed and opened the door all the way, she didn’t look him in the eyes, not because she was afraid of his reaction, but because she was uncertain how this conversation would go.
"It was only by sheer luck you guys won. It’s always sheer luck." there was something in her voice that caused Morgan to pause for a single heartbeat.
“I’m sorry that we won, perhaps you would’ve liked it if we had lost, and I was frozen at the bottom of the stairs and shattered like your team mates are?" he responded quickly, with just a hint of anger in his voice. "I’m here because I want to address some issues that have been on your mind. So what are they? More importantly, can we PLEASE get something to eat!? I’m **** starved!"
She laughed a little, it felt great to laugh after such a long period of uncertainty about where her husband stood. "Sure thing... My first question is do you still want me, even after everything I’ve done, all those people I killed, after trying to kill you, after-"
She was silenced when Morgan quickly swept her up in his arms and looked longingly into her eyes. His own were now a dull greenish grey that had seen many fights, many near death experiences, and many years of yearning for some sort of normalcy. "I’m holding you aren’t I? Just because you’ve gotten strandified, and your true form spans billions and billions of light years, and because you could potentially destroy me in a heartbeat at this very moment... Doesn’t mean I don’t love you anymore than when you wove me that weird algae blanket."
She blushed for a moment, her heart fluttering for a few moments before realizing they couldn’t do what they both desperately wanted to do right there on the table. "Morgan... I want you to know that I’m part of the seven Strands now... this isn’t my real-"
"Hush baby child," Morgan cooed softly as he brought her head closer to his, "This is all old news to me. I fought repeatedly against the Golden Strands before, I know what strand types are capable of." he blinked a few times, trying to get the salty water out of his eyes, as he gently kissed her forehead. "You are mine, as I am yours Caasi Lee Gavin. You’ve been thinking too much about everything. Even when you did the things you did because you didn’t know any better-"
She pulled away from him a little while still in his embrace. Her face stone cold in opposition. "I knew Morgan... I knew what I was doing. I worked for the Chasm, for the Golden Strands, helped destroy the Council of the ten Guardians, I’ve ended untold numbers of lives, destroyed entire galaxies, tore universes in twain! How could you just forgive me for all of that!?" Caasi’s voice started cracking into sobs as she beat against Morgan’s chest in frustration, her stress more visual.
Morgan held onto her tightly. She wanted him to let go, but his warmth felt so good against her freezing skin. She had long since forgotten how good he had been to her since her change. "Were you ever scared I’d come after you?" she asked simply.
"All the time, there wasn’t a day in this chaotic place where I didn’t have that thought in my head." Morgan replied quietly. The two held each other for what seemed like eternity.
Holo-Julie faded into view with Joseph Arhems frozen head cradled in her arms. His face blank with both joy and the terror of realizing he no longer had a body. "They’re about to announce the twist... please go back to the blue house Morgan."
Morgan looked into Caasi's eyes with a sense of dread, and felt he knew what the twist was going to be. "Caasi, for both our sakes, I think you should talk to some of the people in Team Green, I'm not sure what they'll have to say, but at least its worth a shot." the Lost Wolf opened the door, looking as normal as he could possibly do in under the conditions.
"Morgan? Can you at least answer me one thing?" her husband stood at the door quietly, his eyes simply looking forward in a somewhat determined manner.
"Shoot." he said with a little bit of encouragement.
"If they put us against each other... Could you fight me full out? I don't want you holding back because we're married, And I don't want to win easily because you were being a **** headed coward." Morgan sighed and simply walked out the door, letting the pulsating thing slam behind him. Caasi didn't know how else to put it, and wanted more than ever to tell him that she would do her best as well. But ultimately knew that a victory for either one of them would mean the other would be frozen and thrown in the basement.
As Morgan walked across the cement compound to the Blue House, he was having doubts about this whole Surviving Big Brother thing. It was'nt that he would eventually have to fight Caasi if someone else didn't first, it was the fact that he was conflicted between following his natural instincts and going all out, and holding back in case Holo-Julie announced they would be fighting. The Blue House never looked so glum, but there was nothing anyone could do about it. He wondered what Sogno was thinking or doing right now, if the dream child was watching with glee or disappointment, or about Tina and Chrissy. Or even Sarah Dellarose for that matter. He wondered what they would have done in his shoes, and suddenly felt that the weight of all his his actions would either crush him, or someone dear to him. He felt empty since the Fragments Of Reality they had worked so hard to collect were split amongst the three houses. Even Alpha and Omega tried to console him, but it was no use. Barney Fife slapped him hard.
"Barney... STOP THAT." the warning was ignored as the puppet king continued, unable to hold back his emotions.
"Listen Lost Wolf, my master is in Team Green, how do you think I feel!? This is not the time to get sentimental about having to go against your loved ones! Poor Teddy Ruxbin... Mr. Bean witnessed his demise, AND DO YOU KNOW how much that man loves his teddy!? He loves his teddy.... a lot."
Morgan couldn't help but laugh as Barney Fife smacked him again. "Well said Puppet King, well said. But I wonder what the new twist is going to be? There have been so many new ones added lately, that no matter how many times I try to remember, I just can't get all of them down." B
Barney looked somberly at the huge wall TV that would eventually show Jeff's disturbingly huge front teeth, and shuddered. "Whatever it may be, it can't be worse that what we've already been through. speak of the plaque infested devil." he said as Jeff was shown fluting his teeth. Which was a little like flossing, but done by ramming a flute into the spaces between his teeth.
"Hello house guests!" came the cheery voice devoid of joy. "I'm sure all of you watched that amazing match with just a hint of terror, so let's just say that the new battlefield and house twists are going to really throw a wrench in your plans!"
Jeff was still blocking the camera, but Julie put a rail machine gun next to his temple and pulled the trigger.
"STILL NOT DEAD!" he shouted joyfully as he pulled the ten inch thick rails out of his skull.
"The new twists are that your future actions will be delivered upon your past selves. Time travel!" she said simply before the screen went blank. "Oops, I was just told by Allison while Jeff was throwing her bloated corpse into a active volcano, that due in part to the credit rating of our show going down a notch, that time travel will not be able to be inflicted to just anyone. Also, there will be the inclusion of massive metropolitan storms focused on the loser on the next matches house. Basically, we'll be throwing Posh Spice at your house for about three hours."
Antimo was shocked, Posh Spice happened to be his girlfriend at the moment, and he had spent a lot of time trying to train her on how not to dress like a hooker.
it was extremely hard.
Linheber ed sat quietly outside of the barrier between Existences, his face in his hands with silent contemplation at how he was going to break through and rescue them all. He looked to the center of the ring world and found that the large black sphere of gravity was doing its job holding everything together. He looked to the western world, and saw that no matter what he tried to make the production right, it still didn't feel correct.
He was one of the five great Demon Directors, known through out Existence and Nonexistence for their countless revisions, recastings, rescriptings, reworkings of every little thing in the plays they directed till it felt right. But for the life of him, he could not get through a simple barrier between Existences. It puzzled him to say the least, he knew it was there, he knew the methods for weakening the barrier to its last micron, and he knew that no matter how hard he pressed against the shimmering wall, it would not budge.
"What to do, what do..." he said calmly as his bloodied white scarf flapped in the breeze. He had gathered most of the Aurekian sect, and only had two more to go, but he felt it was enough for him. "What to do..." he seemingly had chanted those three words for the last seven days, even when several Aurekians had given him ideas on how to break through.
Breaking through the barrier wasn't thr problem either, he was able to do that just fine, but when he poked his head through to the other side, there was a seemingly infinite number of legions of lawyers from every side, angel and direction that blocked his path. Linheber was in a tight spot. He looked through the opening once again and came face to face with Julie Chen.
"Hi." she said with a quick smile. "How can we help you today Linheber?" the Demon Director wasn't quite sure how to go about this.
"Can I give them objects that will help them in their battles? It's obvious that I'm not able to defeat even a single one of your lawyers with my abilities, so I guess all I can do is aid them in whatever struggles they have to face." there was silence for a few moment while she thought about it. the wires and circuits that were embedded in the small of her back seemed to fizzle and pop with latent energy.