once upon a time there was a princess named heena. she sat in a golden throne and thought hard about what should be done about the prisoner of love, sir jack of spade. heena thought that his punishment should be good enough for the former duke of whathell but she wasnt sure what oculd be done at all, with the current status of economic recession around the corner. but then heena brown eyes sharpened to a point as she realized the writer was being a complete jackass at the moment. "stop that!" she remarked quietly to no one in particular but no one answered back to her. only the silence. "jimmy! crack your corn again and i dont care if you starve!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. there was no one named jimmy in her employ.

she cursed the writer of this story. then promptly feel out of the golden throne. she got up, dusted herself off and brushed her beautiful black hair out of her face. then she realized she had a moustache. "a princess should not a have a freaking moustache!"  again there was no reply to her demands and the moustache simply vanished after a minute or two. "hmph! making a princess worry about the current economic status of the surrounding region... damn the writer!" her brown eyes again searched the room for anything that would give away the writers position or location, but everything was ismply quiet as a mouse.

princess heena then rode off into the ksy in her beat up pinto with shag capeting and a broken rear view mirror. two minutes later she was pulled over by the lapd. whom coincidently had learned to fly by lying out there asses. princess heena did not approve of where this story was going one bit as bad pron music filled the air. at fisrt she thought someone had set a bad disco band on fire and kicked baby jesus in the head. but she got realy worried when a fat old horny erect man stood in front of her while grinding the front of the pinto.

she ran over him. not know that it was the king of all whathell and its neighboring lands of ****. by this time a giant dragon had landed in disneyland and torn all of toontown asunder with its giant day glow parachute pants.the princess recognized the giant dragon as jamie kennedy reprising his role from old school. "damn the writer! this simply wont do at all!" she drove off into the sky yet again as her beat up old pinto coughed and sputter smog over the vast magical forests where a flock of golden fleece were grazing peacefully. the young fleece playing happily and as the smog settled down, the poisonos gasses killied off every living thing and burnt the magical forest to the ground.

no. princess heena was not liking where the story was heading at all. she had a clue about who was doing the writing and making her perfect day seem like it wa taken out of a page from the will ferrel movie "stranger then ficton." but that was something entirely diffent and unrelated to the story at hand. sheturned the smog sputtering clunker around and found that she had run out of gas. and worse yet, the radio knob had broken off, and the radio station was playing twenty hours worth of aflack commercials.

she was not a happy camper at all.

with her pinto stuck in the middle of the sky and her mind slowly being erased by the sound of ducks saying "aflack!" every thirty seconds. she began to realize that the killer of the corn field was sitting right next to her. "oh **** this." the murderer screamed as he jumped to his death since the car was position over shark infested waters. "how will i ever get home to punish the evil prisoner of love, jack of spades, duck of whathell and heir to my kings throne of ****?

she ponedered this until the giant dragon flew by and she jumped onto the dragons back, only for the sad beast to explode into a blazing inferno, sending the tiny princess flying smack dab into the wall of her castle. which coincidently was right next to the lands of whothell and howthell and well as wherethell. "im not happy at all! all i did was wake up and the writer of this short story is being mean and cruel to me! why?" unbeknownst to her, the prisoner of love, jack of spades, duck of whathell was on the oppisite side of the wall writing the very story she was in. but he answered slyly. "marry me priness heena, and all will be forgotten." she was about to answer when the duck of whathell exploded into a firey inferno that sent the princess flying into nerd infested waters. yes, she had landed in the once proud remains of toon town. as well as orlando floridas retirment homes for royalty.

but the beautifull princess had had quite neough of this nonsense and demanded to see the writer at once. he appeared before her, dark, handsome, pure evil and strangley enough worried sick about his puddle fluffly. yes puddle. "IM THE WRITER YOU SEEK! princess heena, marry ME and all will be forgotten!" by this time though, heena had gotten used to stupid things happening to her and accepted the marriage proposal of the evil mastermind.

they had spent millions of crowns and many man hours getting things organized and perfect fo r the wedding cerimony when the princess had gotten word that the djs, the cooks, the jugglers, the entertainment, the preacher, the doves, the wild horses and the remaining golden fleece had all. quite unexpectedlyburst into flames andburnt to death singing songs from "my fair lady".

she had finally been pushed over the edge as she screamed and raved for hours on end till the souls of hundred of children cried blood for many days. then she bought a ticket to the land of comeonandgetlaid and lived happily ever after.

the end....

meanwhile, her return tickets had mysteriosly burst into firey infernos. "**** it. ill stay here and live happily ever after." the princess lived forever more.

THE END.