The story so far:
The almost Arthurian knights armor that molded to her frame was silver, black and gold, the spikes looked like they moved with her heart beat as they covered her neck, chest, torso, wais, legs, arms, and eyes. they then wrapped themselves lightly around each other, and melted into a almost camera like formation. She weilded ten scythes, five in each hand like playing cards, her eyes of the darkest azure, her hair of the lightest shade of brown, almost looking like a golden color. Her face looked almost like a cross of the venice do milo, and the most pissed off soccer mom in the world.
Caasi knew that look, it was the look of someone with a great vengeance to met out.
"The best strategy is simply to mock her every move, thought, and emotional break down until she goes critical. While doing that, we gradually surround her on all sides, angles, and degrees until she drops her guard, after that, we unleash hell and one of us, in her final moments, will kick her into the Pit of Death while screaming 'This isn't insanity, this is Surviving Big Brother, and you've just been evicted bitch!'. Oh yeah, forgot something, Convocar a la técnica: Diez billón arqueros de Evel!" Reginalm concluded as thunder clouds roared and bolts of pure energy and with the speed of a 10G network from Boost Mobile loaded the archers from the portals surrounding the eight foot tall transvestite.
"Here we go." Caasi Gavin said with a deep breath.
In every Planet, solar system, galaxy, Universe, Dimension, Reality, Existence and Nonexistence, Every Core of being, every person and creature watching knew the ultimate taboo had been unleashed in the Surviving Big Brother house.
They knew what it meant, and some enjoy the prospect of it, and others wanted no part of it.
They knew they didn't have a choice in the matter.
What this meant to them was that an end was coming. A end to every war, to the trillions of years of violence, to the Cores continual message that they should destroy each other because of their alliances.
Even the Key felt the paradigm shifting chaotically, its goals rapidly shifting like the tides of war, and the tides of peace.
It knew, for all intents and purposes, that the results from the outcome would have reverberating consequences for all sides.
Its own goals lost in the quagmire of its own self delusion.
The Door and the Chasm, two of its carefully and most intricate pawns had moved everything into place, like a row of carefully aligned dominoes. It just needed a single gust of wind in the right direction, and all would fall into place.
The key knew this couldn't happen yet, though the Golden and Bloody Strands had knocked out too many of the pieces of its plans, that it hoped the collateral damage would be enough.
The Key's only hope, remained with the small canine that resided next to Sasha Obama in the glitching remains of the Waking Dimension, located in the Reality of the mind, that was formely guarded by Asteroth. Technarl, the last remaining piece of him that lived, had passed on responsability for its continued existence, to both Aneeh, and someone that no one would ever expect.
"Mother **** Teddy Ruxbin." Barney Fife said slowly.
Back in the circuit battlefield, another, much smaller, group of dark red portals had opened up. Kirby looked up and saw the smiling face of Jeffordan, in his Humilitard, with a nail bat coming straight down at him. "The army of Jefforadon has arrived. NONE SHALL PASS!"
Kirby simply punched shim in the crotch. "Shut the hell up and go find something to eat.
Upon closer inspection, Caasi noticed that Reginalms armor glowed a soft trio of red, gold and purple. She took note that the spikes of bone were actually spires of precious gemstones like diamonds, rubies, opals that had every hue of the rainbow in them, emeralds that shone the deepest hues of green, and tigers eyes whose colors of brown and soft yellow swirled like London fog in the morning as someone passed through them.
"Lets get to it."
Morgan looked into Caasi's eyes with a sense of dread, and felt he knew what the twist was going to be. "Caasi, for both our sakes, I think you should talk to some of the people in Team Green, I'm not sure what they'll have to say, but at least its worth a shot." the Lost Wolf opened the door, looking as normal as he could possibly do in under the conditions.
"Morgan? Can you at least answer me one thing?" her husband stood at the door quietly, his eyes simply looking forward in a somewhat determined manner.
"Shoot." he said with a little bit of encouragement.
"If they put us against each other... Could you fight me full out? I don't want you holding back because we're married, And I don't want to win easily because you were being a **** headed coward." Morgan sighed and simply walked out the door, letting the pulsating thing slam behind him. Caasi didn't know how else to put it, and wanted more than ever to tell him that she would do her best as well. But ultimately knew that a victory for either one of them would mean the other would be frozen and thrown in the basement.
As Morgan walked across the cement compound to the Blue House, he was having doubts about this whole Surviving Big Brother thing. It was'nt that he would eventually have to fight Caasi if someone else didn't first, it was the fact that he was conflicted between following his natural instincts and going all out, and holding back in case Holo-Julie announced they would be fighting. The Blue House never looked so glum, but there was nothing anyone could do about it. He wondered what Sogno was thinking or doing right now, if the dream child was watching with glee or disappointment, or about Tina and Chrissy. Or even Sarah Dellarose for that matter. He wondered what they would have done in his shoes, and suddenly felt that the weight of all his his actions would either crush him, or someone dear to him. He felt empty since the Fragments Of Reality they had worked so hard to collect were split amongst the three houses. Even Alpha and Omega tried to console him, but it was no use. Barney Fife slapped him hard.
"Barney... STOP THAT." the warning was ignored as the puppet king continued, unable to hold back his emotions.
"Listen Lost Wolf, my master is in Team Green, how do you think I feel!? This is not the time to get sentimental about having to go against your loved ones! Poor Teddy Ruxbin... Mr. Bean witnessed his demise, AND DO YOU KNOW how much that man loves his teddy!? He loves his teddy.... a lot."
Morgan couldn't help but laugh as Barney Fife smacked him again. "Well said Puppet King, well said. But I wonder what the new twist is going to be? There have been so many new ones added lately, that no matter how many times I try to remember, I just can't get all of them down." B
Barney looked somberly at the huge wall TV that would eventually show Jeff's disturbingly huge front teeth, and shuddered. "Whatever it may be, it can't be worse that what we've already been through. speak of the plaque infested devil." he said as Jeff was shown fluting his teeth. Which was a little like flossing, but done by ramming a flute into the spaces between his teeth.
"Hello house guests!" came the cheery voice devoid of joy. "I'm sure all of you watched that amazing match with just a hint of terror, so let's just say that the new battlefield and house twists are going to really throw a wrench in your plans!"
Jeff was still blocking the camera, but Julie put a rail machine gun next to his temple and pulled the trigger.
"STILL NOT DEAD!" he shouted joyfully as he pulled the ten inch thick rails out of his skull.
"The new twists are that your future actions will be delivered upon your past selves. Time travel!" she said simply before the screen went blank. "Oops, I was just told by Allison while Jeff was throwing her bloated corpse into a active volcano, that due in part to the credit rating of our show going down a notch, that time travel will not be able to be inflicted to just anyone. Also, there will be the inclusion of massive metropolitan storms focused on the loser on the next matches house. Basically, we'll be throwing Posh Spice at your house for about three hours."
Antimo was shocked, Posh Spice happened to be his girlfriend at the moment, and he had spent a lot of time trying to train her on how not to dress like a hooker.
it was extremely hard.
Linheber ed sat quietly outside of the barrier between Existences, his face in his hands with silent contemplation at how he was going to break through and rescue them all. He looked to the center of the ring world and found that the large black sphere of gravity was doing its job holding everything together. He looked to the western world, and saw that no matter what he tried to make the production right, it still didn't feel correct.
He was one of the five great Demon Directors, known through out Existence and Nonexistence for their countless revisions, recastings, rescriptings, reworkings of every little thing in the plays they directed till it felt right. But for the life of him, he could not get through a simple barrier between Existences. It puzzled him to say the least, he knew it was there, he knew the methods for weakening the barrier to its last micron, and he knew that no matter how hard he pressed against the shimmering wall, it would not budge.
"What to do, what do..." he said calmly as his bloodied white scarf flapped in the breeze. He had gathered most of the Aurekian sect, and only had two more to go, but he felt it was enough for him. "What to do..." he seemingly had chanted those three words for the last seven days, even when several Aurekians had given him ideas on how to break through.
Breaking through the barrier wasn't thr problem either, he was able to do that just fine, but when he poked his head through to the other side, there was a seemingly infinite number of legions of lawyers from every side, angel and direction that blocked his path. Linheber was in a tight spot. He looked through the opening once again and came face to face with Julie Chen.
"Hi." she said with a quick smile. "How can we help you today Linheber?" the Demon Director wasn't quite sure how to go about this.
"Can I give them objects that will help them in their battles? It's obvious that I'm not able to defeat even a single one of your lawyers with my abilities, so I guess all I can do is aid them in whatever struggles they have to face." there was silence for a few moment while she thought about it. the wires and circuits that were embedded in the small of her back seemed to fizzle and pop with latent energy.
"I don't see why not, after all, you look like you'd make a decent host, why not join us?" Linheber had thought about that on multiple occasions, but the Aurekians inside his mind had told him of the process. It wasn't like filling out a job application and going to work. In the Surviving Big Brother Existence, Aurek himself had said, they connect your very being to a giant circuit breaker, and you lose all will to fight against it.
"No thank you, could you give them this bag of marbles? It'll give them something to do."
"That's it?" Julie said, more than a little cautious. Previous run ins with the Demon Director had been dangerous.
"You can check them if you'd like, but all it really is, is just a bag of marbles." Julie checked the small leather bag, and found thirteen clear marbles with bits of glitter and ink in them.
"This is highly unlike you, you must be planning something." the hostess said quietly, her voice dripping with innotations.
"Julie, darling, I'm one of the five Demon Directors, I have hundreds of plays to direct, thousands of casting sessions to get through, and millions of props to check and recheck! Do you really think I'd have time to try and waste time by chit chatting with you?" Linheber replied hotly, hoping the ruse would work.
"I don't thi-"
"Would you stop saying th-"
"BEACH... TO THE ****... BALL." Linheber repeated and pointed back to the small planetoid floating in the milky white of the Big Brother Existence. Julie left, grumbling something about beach balls, and Linheber went back to his own plans. "That's as much as I can do for you and your ilk. Don't disappoint me."
"Houses, please gather in your living rooms for the announcement of the next match!" came the shrill and almost deafening cackle of Brenchal. It had been well over two months in the Surviving Big Brother Existence since Julie or Jeff had announced any match line ups. The house guests had gotten a little too comfortable with the peace and had forgotten about the time travel twist that had been announced. Five minutes later, Caasi had sat down in the plush red couch, and looked around. It was lonely in the house without anyone to talk to that didn't seem like a vital piece in the war between Existence and Nonexistence. She wondered what the other teams were doing, but didn't have long to ponder the thought as Jeff had decided that now was as good a time as any to scrape the toe jam out of his shoes in front of the camera. In the distance, there was a shriek of mind blowing terror. She knew that sound, it meant someone had wet themselves out of fright.
Once more, Julie stabbed Jeff right through the side of his head and wrenched violently till she heard a sickening snap.
"Still not dead honey bunches of oates!" he cheerfully said as he walked off to the bathroom.
"Houseguests, today is the third in the gravity well battlefield! We've been working hard on this for the past two months, and alison has been a vital part in testing out the barriers strength! Also, I had a run in with Linheber Ed, and he told me to pass along to each of you, one marble from this bag!" Caasi was more confused then ever. Until a marble hit her in the cheek with the force of a football.
"Ouch..." she yelped slowly.
"The third match up is between Caasi Gavin of Team Red, and Blue Spiderman and Joshua Arhem of Team Green! Please make your way to the tennis ball attached to the dead snake in the center of the compound!" Julie finished as she pulled out two repeating shotguns and a cattle prod as she walked slowly towards Jeff. "Here Hubby, Hubby, Hubby..." Caasi winced when she saw what the weapons were used for, and Jeff's screaming like a ten year old pig being picked up didn't help matters much either.
She picked herself up off the couch, marble in tow, and walked passed Mu,Nu, Xi,and Pi to ask what her strategy should be.
"Don't get killed." they all said in unison.
This happened to be their usual response, but she couldn't blame them. She thought about it for a second and realized that she could very well blame them for all their stupidity.
She saw Blue Spiderman, and he struck a heroic pose. "The tides of heroism shall wash away the hard water of criminal undercurrent! Now be prepared to get flash flooded by the tsunami of my whirlpool of might!"
She wanted to kill him right there if the whole battle was going to be like that. Joshua didn't say much, instead, he simply gurgled for a minute and let his tongue fall out of his mouth. Caasi wondered if the two were brothers. Holo-Julie arrived for a last minute announcement.
"I'm sorry, Joshua Arhem will be replaced by the Great Mouth, and the gravity well battlefield has been changed to outer space. I know its last minute, but I guess Allison really wanted this match to like a fight between good, stupid as hell, and evil... go figure." the hologram faded out of view as Blue Spiderman and Caasi exchanged a look that only meant one thing in particular.
They were going to be in for one hell of a match up. She looked up into the insanely pink night sky, and somehow she thought they had been swollowed whole by a whale with really bright gums. The Mouthian arrived, his ghostly form accompanied by two floating lidless eyes.