The story so far:
The hologram disappeared, the ground becoming more volatile as obsidian tornadoes ripped through the ground. "You ready to die!?" Teddy Ruxbin said as he broke into a debt-collector-eating-hot-noodles stance.
"Only through the power of Emo will we strive towards the nothingness of our blackest heart!" Emo Spiderman said calmly, breaking into a Mushroom-cap-laughing-at-a-dead-peice-of-paper stance. The two rocketed towards each other, raised fists, and flying kicks galore as they closed the distance.
The land of the firestorm seemed to laugh at its new guests plight as they approached the defining moment in their existence.
Emo Spiderman landed a punch in Teddy Ruxbin's soft round tummy, sending him in the path of an oncoming obsidian tornado. The shards slice through his soft plush body, severing his left arm and right kneecap in the process.
"You think that style will defeat mine!? T? lóng: Pòsuì de xìnx? zh?ngx?n!" Emo Spiderman roared as he shot dirt filled webbing into the air, the webbing roared to life as lava slammed together to form a dragon with a mail mans cap on it. It screamed towards Teddy Ruxbin and delivered him a note scented in five of the most illegal perfumes.
"Why thank you! I never knew... what's this?" the plush bear said as his eyes read line after line of heartbreaking news. "She cheated on me.. with HIM!?"
The earth dragon roared with delight, reared up high into the sky as Emo Spiderman manipulated the webbing and called out another attack. "T? lóng: Sìnüè dìqiú shú!"
The dragon of earth slammed Teddy Ruxbin with a notice, telling him his house had been forclosed upon. "Dìqiú lóng zuìzh?ng g?ngjí: D?opiàn s?wáng jìn wàn ch?cùn!" the dragon split down the middle four times and each grew seven hundred elongate arms. "Dìqiú lóng zuìzh?ng g?ngjí: Q? b?i yú b?guà: 60 Yì h?idòng de sh?uzh?ng cu?hu? de lìliàng!" Teddy Ruxbin was at the mercy of the dragons, as lightning quick jabs slammed his vital points, joints, throat and pressure points. stuffing came out of his eyes and ears, the blows bursting stitches, ripped his ears, and caused his lawyer to quit on him in the middle of a court case involving ten rubber bands and a quiche.
The Teddy Bear was being slammed in every direction as he lost his footing and edged near a wave of lava. It was time he unleashed his fluffy attacks, and put a end to what seemed like a one sided match. The four dragons sunk back into the ground, with Emo Spiderman getting ready to unleash another attack. Teddy didn't need any ancient attacks to get rid of Emo Spiderman.
But it helped a lot.
"Kinzoku genso: Tetsu hidora hissatsu-waza: Tetsu hidora no uch? no danmaku!" he yelped in pain as a simple metal bracer slipped from his torn off arm, transforming into a break dancing three headed garden snake with tiny cowboy hats on.
"You really expect me to believe that little things going to have enough power to-" the Dark Hero didn't have enough time to finish the sentence, as three massive beams of energy slapped him across the face so hard, the ink in his costume splattered again the rock behind him. "Thats it?" Emo Spiderman roared with laughter till the second wave of the triple beam attack nailed him in the crotch, then a third wave bore a spiral shaped hole in his chest.
The Dark Hero looked like a rag doll with all of his bones broken inside. Teddy Ruxbin called out attack after attack, slamming the dark hero in the face with a ten ton mallet. "Kinzoku genso: Chitan'unagi no sutoraiki! Kinzoku genso: Suzu haku no hiraishin! Kinzoku genso: Such?rutako ky?kyoku no k?geki: Dam?ji no tsu no reberu: Feisubukkus?p? tsuku!" the plush animal yelled out as the first attack strapped Emo Spiderman to the ground with live metallic eels that ripped from the ground below, the second attack sent thousands of needles pounding into various Chakra points, and the third attack caused a giant, demonic, robotic octopus to continually superpoke him on Facebook as billions of yottavolts of lightning slammed into his body, frying every muscle fiber, every organ, every synapse, every pathway, and generally just turned him into a clothed piece of beef jerky.
Teddy Ruxbin laughed hysterically as the hologram of Julie chen arrived. "Teddy Ruxbin wins round one!"
"Damn it!" Emo Spiderman roared in frustration as his wounds healed in a matter of seconds.
"Round two fight!"
Emo Spiderman had enough playing around as he charged forward, still woozy from the doctors bill and lack of healing they actually did. "T?niú de f?nggé: H?ixiào de jùshí!" came his tired and relentlessly haggared shout.
Teddy Ruxbin still had all of his injuries and panicked. "WHAT THE **** JULIE!? I WON! HEAL ME ALREADY!"
The hologram smiled, "This is a new twist, the loser of the fight gets his wounds healed, and the victor keeps his injuries! Enjoy!"
"You stupid BITCH!" the stuffed animal roared as the boulders slammed onto the ground around him, forming a tightly spaced well over ten thousand feet high. "This can't be good. Kinzoku genso: Adaman'?m?!" he hastily shouted, but still nothing happened. He tried again as the boulders kept piling higher and higher, "Kinzoku genso: Adaman'?m?! Kinzoku genso: Adaman'?m?! Kinzoku genso: Adaman'?m?!!!"
the hologram appeared next to him as she smiled at him with malicious intent. "We decided to add another twist to the twist! The victor wont be able to launch any defensive attacks for ten minutes!"
"WHAT THE-" Teddy Ruxbin shouted, but stopped when the thundering of the boulders stopped.
Emo Spiderman smiled ingeniously. "I could so finish this in a instant Ruxbin! By the way, your girlfriend cooked the best meal last night! The meat fell right off the bone! T?niú de f?nggé: Yánji?ng tián m?n lu?nshí zhàdàn!" the dark hero shouted. As the tiny pebbles fell past Teddy Ruxbins eyes, he remembered what the holograam had said, that losing this round would heal his wounds, but cost him, and that his opponent wouldn't be able to use any defensive moves for ten minutes. The first of the pebbles hit the ground with a puff and broke apart, revealing the boiling magma within. Teddy Ruxbin still didn't like the pain.
And then Julie Chen appeared yet again. "another twist, the pain of losing will be multiplied by the amount of times you've been hit during your previous victory."
"**** YOU!" Teddy Ruxbin shouted, enraged that his luck kept being dropped on a cliff.
He closed his eyes, and tried once more to use the defensive move. "Kinzoku genso: Adaman'?m?! Kinzoku genso: Adaman'?m?!!!" the effect was doubled as the first armor plates slapped out of his body and formed a protective shielding around his body. The second one however, simply formed a hourglass on top of him. The pebble bombs funneled through and drop by drop exploded onto his new armor, fusing it to his body on the places it hit. When the hour glass couldn't bare the heat of the magma anymore, it simply dropped on top of the screaming stuffed animal. "Kinzoku genso: Bakuhatsu toripuruchitanp?sum?k?!" the Dark Hero clutched his chest as a firestorm of explosions ripped through the front and back of his ribcage, launching him off his feet and into the tidal wave of lava, turning his body into a cinder.
The hologram ripped through the ground, with a checkered flag in hand. "The victor-" the pebbles bombs and the titanium armor had thoroughly set Teddy Ruxbin on fire, melted his cotton innards, and reduced him to a pile of still flaming ashes. "Neither one! Round three!"
Emo Spiderman and and Teddy Ruxbin found themselves at least whole, with tenth degree burns and blood hemorrhaging from their eyes, ears, nose and various parts of their bodies.
"Another twist! If there is a tie, and its the final round, both fighters will be regenerated with ten thousand Tunguskas worth of nuclear dynamite! Also, you can't use moves, offensive or defensive!" Emo Spiderman simply fell over, a stalagmite storm slammed through his body, piercing every inch of available .
"Oh shi-" was all the Teddy bear could say as a slowly expanding ball of pure unrestrained force ripped through him, setting off his own personal bomb.
The colorful array seemed to create a dazzling array of short lived life forms that had full and healthy lives. Each one with his or her own sadness and dreams fulfilled. The firestorm battlefield, and most of its surrounding area had simply turned into a cool blue pillar of frozen fire that mushroomed at the top. On the top, there was both Emo Spiderman and Teddy Ruxbin, dressed in ballet outfits, rehearsing swan lake post mortem.
Both were frozen, tossed to the ground from ten miles up in the air, shattered on the ground, swept up, and then dumped into their respective team’s basement.
Across the bubbling masses of space and time, Technarl, Gothemos, and the Box watched the live feeds with humility and suspension of disbelief. "That was stupid, and I disbelieve that it was a good fight. Don't you agree Box?" the Box said nothing to confirm nor deny Gothemos statement. "On the other hand, those were some **** awesome attacks!"
In the Dimenision between Dimensions, both sides of the war between Existence and Nonexistence had been ordered to stop fighting and watch the season progress. Tina Door and Chrissy Chasm, the avatars of the Door and the Chasm, silently watched the three billion light year screen in contemplation.
'Do you really think its wise to leave the final descision of this war in the hands of those two? If they are to be believed in their deviousness, I wouldn't put it past them to try and gain control of this Reality.' The Door communicated to the Chasm.
'We do not personally believe anymore that this war is justified by the continued recycling of warriors. We have been waging this pointless and demeaning war for time beyond measure, in our mistaken belief that if we were to be victorious over the other, that our destiny would be fulfilled. This is a disruptive misconception the Core has pushed upon the eyes and ears of countless others like ourselves. However, I do believe that Teddy Ruxbin, in his futility to achieve greatness, has shown us the meaning behind our faceted lie that we have been living in.'
The Door flushed a happy emotion into Tina's face. 'True. But Emo Spiderman thoroughly kicked **** that last battle.'
The Chasm had no other choice but to agree. 'Yes. He was ultimately overpowered by the power of the Big Brother twist.'
Back in the compound, the team mates for Green and Blue huddled around the remains of Emo Spiderman and Teddy Ruxbin. They saw that defeat was no longer a peaceful option, in what they thought was simply a show dedicated to the power of Brenchals bitchiness. Team Blues annoyance had changed from Jimmy Falon to Stephen Colbert.
At the moment, the newscaster and Brenchal were having an all out war of words.
"RIGHTY TIGHTY TRUTHINESS!"
Brenchal had enough and pulled out their trump card. "Whinybitch twin powers activate!" they both called out and joined rings. Rachel jumped into the air, arms spread out like chicken wings, "Form of a pack of hair extensions!"
Stephen grimaced as Brendon struck a bad Japanese superhero pose. "Form of a neandertall!" the hair extensions clipped onto the neandethals black, messed up, gnarly, insect ridden, ugly as burn victim surprising you, mop of bleeding hair.
"Gun of Truthiness!" the newscaster pulled out a fully automatic repeating handheld railgun, pulled the trigger for five minutes, and tipped his cowboy hat forward.
"Truthiness overcomes all. Bitch."
The mood in the Red, Blue, and Green houses was nothing to balk at. They were all trapped in this demented Existence by two psychotic, raving lunatics. There weren't any competitions to distract them from the reality that one by one, each of them would have to face the person they least wanted to in armed combat. The Strands and Syrup had reconvened in the Chum Bucket room, and since no one else could stand the stench, it was the perfect way for them to talk about how they could possibly win. The Golden Strands proposed they try and broker a deal with one of the other teams, or maybe they could all gather together before the next match.
Caasi suggested they ask Jeff or Julie when they would announce the next match, but Resaec quickly countered.
"We don't even know what their ultimate goal is Caasi, it would be fool hardy to even think of asking them."
There was a knock at the door, and Joseph entered quite calmly. "If I might make a quick announcement, but Julies asking for everyone in the compound to go to the living rooms. she's about to tell us about the house twists." the four of they shuddered after witnessing what happened to Teddy Ruxbin in the battlefield last night.
"This can't be good." a small Pug said as he cleaned himself. Morgan thought it was ridiculous that the two decided on Antimo's pug form. But then again, he was in his ruby spider armor, and that wasn't really the most comfortable thing in the universe to be doing at the moment. Nordafet sat down hard on the torn up Pleather sofa, his Deom body seemingly falling through it, but he caught himself and relaxed a little bit.
"So what do you think the house twists are going to be? If they're anything like the battlefield ones, we're totally chainsaw ****." Barney Fife said as he sat down on the opposite facing couch next to Mr. Bean. Now that the two weren't fighting each other, they had a chance to talk and learn a bit about each other. In each of the Houses living rooms, there was a wall TV, the size of the wall. The first thing they were treated to was the gnarled, troll like front teeth Jeff had as he brushed his teeth. To which Julie simply slammed his head into a nearby wall mounted spike.
"Still not dead!" he laughed as he picked himself off the floor and moved out of the room.
"House Guests! I am pleased to announce the first set of Surviving Big Brother's house twists! I'm sure you are all very excited!" Julie said as her head seemingly pushed through the TV screen, Nordafet simply socked the screen, sending Julie flying to the other side. She promptly picked herself up, dusted herself off, and continued on in a professional manner. "First off, any pain or injuries you endure while not on the battlefield will be transferred to a random person in another teams House. This has a multitude of pros and cons, and very real strategic value! The second twist is that you may not blink more than five hundred times, and no less the two hundred times. Otherwise, specially placed explosives will take off another team members head in the same house you're in, and another team members legs in another house."
Nordafet had to pause for a second to think about this. "WHAT THE FLYING **** DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THE GAME!? THERE ARE NO ELIMINATIONS! THERE ARE NO COMPETITIONS! THERE ARE NO **** SPOONS! HOW THE **** AM I SUPPOSED TO **** EAT MY DAMNED ICE CREAM WITH NO **** SPOONS!?" there was a silence on both ends as everyone thought Nordafet had gone insane. Julie Chen looked furious, wide eyes, and somehow extremely not like Julie Chen.