The story so far:
Arnold appeared to be walking backwards, while at the same time going forward. The amazing thing was that he wasn't even moving his legs. "A very BAD thing to that you would be choosing to do to me. I am the govenator... and you will be my hand puppet." Barney Fife simply clapped his hands together slowly, not sure at all why he was doing it in the first place.
"So... what happened to the Earth?" the large Austrian simply bowed his head a little and shut his eyes. Barney became saddened at the thought of the Earth being destroyed in the pointlessness of the war.
"It..." Arnold began as Barney became more hopeful.
"Come on... out with it already!"
"It got stuck between my two front teeth."
Barney slapped his forehead. This thing was descendant from the paperclip. He should've known better than to get worked up.
"It got stuck in your teeth? The whole **** planet Earth... got stuck... in YOUR teeth!?" Barney asked with increasingly measured disbelief. The Govenator simply shrugged his huge shoulders.
"Vhat can I say? Its in the genes?"
"No... its in your teeth... Asshat." Barney struggled to comprehend just what the flying **** was actually going on. But soon he found it useless to argue with a paperclip that was hooked on roids. "So do you happen to know what the threat to both Existence and Nonexistence is? Because your anscestor was being a little bitch about the whole thing."
Time slowly resumed as the shadowy figure of the bloody knight was slammed into the ground face first, followed by the giant jello like mallet that soon followed after. "What just happened?" the Puppet King asked in confusion.
The Govenator seemed just as confused as he suddenly sat at a nearby desk, got himself situated and ready to write a fourteen page essay about why **** should be done in a certain order, but was interrupted when the desk transformed into an Autobot. The Autobot looked at Arnold in determination to decide whether or not he would drain his brake fluid on the former paperclip or not.
"Thank you kindly."
The Door and the Chasm seemed like Hypergiants compared to their soldiers on the battlefield, and even then, when four a clock rolled around, the Chasm took a ciesta and the Door had tea. Things were perfectly good until a ciestee had a cup of tea, and than exploded into pieces of eight.
Barney Fife had enough of this, to the left, he watched as Chrissy Chasm ripped the head off a cherry gel filled gummy bear, and to his right, Tina Door slung four chainsaws through the head, waist, arm, and crotch of a Vampire who was glittery. He watched as time seemed to slow down yet again, and watched with morbid curious passion as the cherry gel spilled out of the gummy bear and stopped just before entering Chrissies mouth. Where as he took no pleasure in watching the glittery vampire flit away. The Door and the Chasm kept bursting out new versions of old forces. Some were shiny, some were old and rusted, but they just kept coming back.
'This is insanity...' he thought to himself as Arnold kept chasing his desk around the battlefield hoping to get at least some work done. 'This... what are we waiting for? What could those two possibly fear? What's the point of continuing this idiotic war if they just keep bringing the other sides fighters back into their folds?' Barney screamed out loud in sheer frustration of it all, not caring that behind him was the one person that could make any sense of this at all.
"Slave..." it said with a fierce sharpness to its voice. "Your master comes back reborn anew..." barney raged and roared, throwing any allegiance he once had to either side out of the window and attacking indiscriminately.
"Slave... you master orders you to calm down. La magia cadena de negro: Diez mil manos el control de." the voice spoke softly, its huge lips openening to reveal hundreds of mouths within mouths within mouths, and at the center of it all was a ball of insects buzzing insanely without stop. The mouths spewed billions of nylon strands at Barney Fife, his mind going blank as they slammed through and through and through again till every part of his body was taught and rigid and crammed full of the Mouthian's magics. 'What have I said slave? That you would never be free of me, that I would always be inside of you, waiting for the moment when both the Door and the Chasm were distracted with each other, when they would be at their weakest. I told you this all in the beginning, back when I first trapped you. Back when you first came to this strange place.' Barney Felt a familiar hatred building up inside of his body, as if the Mouthian's words unlocked some sort of super potential within every atom of his being.
'What is thy bidding my master?' Barney thought to his master, the rebuilt, the reformed, the reinvigorated Great Mouth.
"Become my body, my heart and soul. Become the living embodiment of my will and strength, gather unto yourself an army of slaves which through you I will control. You have within your body a wonderful gift. Share it." the Great Mouth said with pleasure. "You are my slave, and no one else's, you are my plaything, my pawn, my property, mine and mine alone with to command every single aspect of your being. You don't even have a stomach."
Barney Fife's robotic eyes went dark, his limps, limp like a ragdoll, as his body unlocked the seals from the top of his head down his back and his arms and legs. The seals split open to reveal a set of twenty black holes that consumed Chakra at a furious pace. The Great Mouth allowed himself to be absorbed into the seals, granting the Puppet King additional abilities.
'Your body is my vessel slave. Be careful not to scratch it.' the voice roared inside Barney Fife's head.
Back on the Ringworlds, the shadowy figure shrieked in fury as Qoph slowly and deliberately circled around the fallen warrior. "Wha- wha- what are you doing just floating there!? We have enemies to vanquish you idio-"
"N? z?nme g?n jiào w? sh?gu?! Rúgu? méiy?u, n? shì nuòf? shuí y?nx? zìj? bèi d?bài le... Zhèyàng de ruòzh?!" the orbs shouted back at the frightened shadow in what Antimo could only guess was traditional chinese.
"Shénme yàng de zìj?? N? zh?y?u zhàn zài nàl?, xiàng y?gè sh?gu?, bìng y?nx? zhè zh?ng shìqíng f?sh?ng Qoph! Bùyào jiào w? sh?gu?!" the shadow roared back obviously angry with the orbs. linheber, morgan, the strands, the syrup, and antimo and nordafet simply stood there while the argument continued. finally, after what seemed like an hour of the two going back and forth, they reached an argreement. "Right then... we'll attack them together!"
The Ringworlds, one by one, lined up with each other until it looked the rings of a ancient redwood. The two groups found themselves on a flat surfaces, each about ten feet wide and four feet apart. Morgan noticed the infinite amount of stars in the sky, and drooled when Charlie Sheen and Hally Berry crashed into each other, their remains merging to make a John Voit orbiting a John Lovitz class moon. "What... or where the **** are we?" the Lost Wolf asked the shadowy figure.
"We've been where we've always been. Welcome to the truest form of the Ringworlds! Now, the Dark W'rolds will unite to belittle you, and hopefully cause some bodily injury!"
There was a little white rabbit fluttering around a lightbulb, its white fur independent of the rest of it. This made no sense to Aneeh as she gently lifted up the screen that was attached to the multiple five hundred petaton nuclear missile launcher she had previously crammed down her immortal brother's throat.
"I donf thin ats onna urk! Iss tuh impoable!" Joseph said with a bit of concern in his voice. She ignored her brothers constant complaining and aimed the rectangle on the fluffy white bunny who was gently nibbling at a patch of forest green grass. She didn't know why she was doing this, only that she knew it had to be done. A few days earlier, the fluffy white rabbit whose fur was as soft and fluffy wuffy as the morning summers breeze, had lost a bet to Aneeh, and simply stiffed her five bucks. This was why she had to obliterate the rabbit and everything in a fifty mile radius around the poor creature.
"No one.... and I mean NO ONE, loses a bet ot me and doesn't pay the price." Aneeh growled as her fingers twitched on the less than a hair trigger switch. She had to get this right, the pay load had to hit the rabbit dead on, or it wouldn't feel right to her and she'd have to find someone else to blow up.
"Agh oo ure ore ooging iss right?" Joseph said with a little patience. He had been through hell trying to round her sister back to their original cause, and he had been ordered by the Chasm to keep her away from the battlefield. He wasn't even sure if the Chasm had the right idea anymore when they decided to freeze time. It seemed to him that these two only played a much smaller part in someone elses grand scheme of things on a much, much, much higher level than the Chasm or Door could ever hope to achieve. 'This doesn't feel right. Dearest sister, I implore you to stop your current plan of action. That rabbit could be useful.' he thought to no one inparticular.
The rabbit did something unusual for a four legged creature with the intelligence of a piece of mold and the gumption of said piece of mold. It stood up to its full height. Aneeh's inner thighs began quivering with excitement. It wasn't a rabbit she had planned on blowing up, it was someone much taller than a rabbit, someone that wasn't even close to being a rabbit, and hopefully, she greedily thought to herself, someone who loved like a rabbit.
"Wow... that wasn't predictable at all." Joseph said calmly now that his forced upon lunch had suddenly dissolved in his stomach. Something else happened, Joseph Arhem farted nuclear radiation in the rabbit man's direction, changing him from a hunk of potential burning love, to just a hunk of burning meat.
She grimaced at him, her inner thighs stopped quivering, and she simply reached inside her ribcage, and pulled out a massive tank barrel and fired several napalm rounds into his being. The resulting explosions seemed not to affect Joseph in the least. Joshua slammed into the ground with a sick thud, picked himself off the ground and snapped all the bones that had dislodged themselves, back into place. He wasn't immortal like his big brother, but close enough where he could sustain just a little bit less than Joseph.
"Where have you been!?" Aneeh snapped at the clumsy youngest of the three of them.
"Well... I don't know to be exact, however, while I was where ever I was, I came across some interesting information! You know all the fighting that's been going on over those Fragments of Reality?" Joshua smiled idiotically. He knew this pissed Aneeh off, so he did it all the more for all the **** she put the two of them through.
Aneeh got irritated at the smile. She always did, since she had been in charge of the two of them through the authority of the Chasm, they made her job a tough one. She loved her brothers dearly, even after Joseph made himself an outcast for outing his whole family like that. But at the moment, they needed all the help they could get. Joshua sat them both down, and while his tear ducts were furiously leaking blood, he managed to tell them about the six other types of fragments out there that revolved around the ones that morgans group had come across.
"The names of these Fragment types only came to me because I slammed into a wooly mammoth tap dancing on Joe Lewis. Don't ask... he was in leather chaps."
Aneeh cringed at the thought of something like that. "So get to the point already, who are these Fragments, what types are they, and more importantly, how can we get our hands on this power?" Joshua smiled coyly, laughing jovialy for five minutes before Aneeh took out the screen, adjusted the coordinates and pressed the red button. All at once, three things happened, first, Joseph's deadly irradiated fart came back to him, second, it went in reverese and errupted out of his mouth, and third, Joshua now knew what it felt like to be a peep in a microwave.
"Yeah... so... who are they?"
Morgan, his friends, his enemies, and a Life Saver that had somehow survived the Golden Strands initial attack on the Singolarita Dimensionale stood in awe of the shadows newest form. Except that within five seconds of noticing the giant living Lifesaver, Morgan fell into his old habit of eating anything that looked like a floating peice of candy with Nike sneakers underneath it. He than sideled up next to it while at the same time looked for a way to disable it.
It noticed him.
He noticed it.
He slowly gave it a hug that was filled with the love and affection of the whole world, and quickly snapped it in half as it screamed bloody murder.
"What the **** is up with you and the Lifesavers?" Linheber asked with a bit of annoyance. "Its not professional! Do it over with-"
"I think you should shut the **** up and pay more attention to me!" the shadow said as the silver orbs of Qop merged with it and its features became all the more present.
"One, who are you? Two, what are you? And three, how strong are you?" the Golden Strands said hungrily as it lost the form of Barney the purple dinosaur and molded itself into a slathering, drooling, red eyed, ball of sharp stringy teeth and hundreds of eyes.
The shadow smiled as the fog that covered its body dispersed. Morgan nodded in approval at first, then looked at Linheber and vigorously shook his head in extreme disappointement. The shadow's body was almost like Antimos in style and look. Only except that it looked like a see through Troll doll reject with bright, mismatched, blaring colored plaid shorts. "My name's Xet. Qop is my partner. And we're from the Werbreh Consumate. By the way... the Ringworlds are part of a locking system that spans many, many, MANY more Existences than you can EVER even conceive of in your puny-"
Antimo walked right across the thirty feet to Xet and slapped him across the face, hard enough to knock loose a few teeth, but light enough that he didn't fly away. "So what you're attempting to tell us, is that there are more than one Existence, and each of those Existences contain somewhere in its massive expanse, are several of these locking, daisy chained, Ringworld systems. I'm assuming six to be exact?" Xet spat orange blood at Antimo. It hit him square in the face, but rather than beat the ridiculous multicolored crap out of him, he simply stood there.
"Yes foolish antihuman. You are correct in your assumption. To be honest, there are googleploxes of Existences, each filled with trillions of Ringworld locking systems, and each one sealing away what might be a dire threat to one Existence, while at the same time, said dire threat might be a powerful and benevolent allie to have to another Existence." Xet simply smiled again, but with a few less teeth. "Simply put, your actions are insignificant in the eyes of the Master Key."
Tthis was the first time Morgan had heard of something like that. "Your telling me that this 'Master Key' as you put it, is more powerful than either the Door or the Chasm in this Existence?" Xet smiled again, with even less teeth than before. Making Linheber, all at the same time, empty his bladder, bowls, and lunch at the same time. To the Black Syrup, Linheber looked like nothing more then a fragrant Vegas fountain, albeit a fairly obnoxious one.
"But," the Black Syrup started with some insight into this whole confusing process. "In my old home, the Nightmare Dimension,"
"Nothing more than a dirty, cramped hotel room compared to the space the Master Key requires-" Antimo slapped him again.
"Thank you... as I was saying, when I was little, Father taught me all about the Existence caste and types, the hierarchy of everything."
Xet laughed a wily laugh while snapping his shin bone in a attempt at kicking antimo in the crotch. it didnt work out too well for him. "Foolish mortal, the hierarchy? The slave worlds reside in the puny star systems, the star systems reside in the useless galaxy, the galaxy resides within the utterly impotent universe, the universes themselves reside within a foolish reality, that reality lives inside the inexusable dimension, those puny dimensions are trapped within the Existence, and that Existence immortally and endlessly owes due servitude to the wiles, wishes, and commands of the Core. Inside that Core, resides the mentionably small Master Key." the Black Syrup shuddered to think that his once mighty kingdom was nothing more than a grain of sand in comparison with the core.
"But what of the Nonexistence that constantly threatens us at every step of the way? What of the ever consuming threat of the Strands? What of the powers beyond our recognition!?" the Bloody Strands roared.
"The powers beyond your comprehension? the layared veil of your own evolution is somehting I would like to explore in detail Mrs. Gavin... But not now. For now I must kill you... with the Werbeh Consumate. unfortunatley, we are at war with six other factions of the Fragmants of Reality-" Xet stopped mid-sentence, his eyes glowing a cold blue light as he focused his attention on Morgan. "I sense the Kreeg are somewhere near... COME OUT! H?i liánhu? shì: Ti?nshàng de y?máo mièwáng de xiéè!" Xet shouted as the shadow like fog covered his entire being yet again, with only the silver spheres of Qoph showing through. Morgan felt a presence with in his body that had remained to stay hidden from his these few perilous weeks. Mu, Nu, and Xi shot through the ground as Xet held out a enlongated cloaked arm, in his rush, Xet had sprouted a gatling gun from beneath his arm. Mu and Nu jolted in opposite directions while Xi shot straight towards Xet at full speed,
"Xet! I HAD THOUGHT YOU MIGHT HAVE RETURNED TO MAKE TROUBLE AGAIN!" Xet's blinding yellow smile shone through the darkness that enfolded him, saving nothing but greed in his eagerness to pull the trigger.
The feathers slammed out of the barrels with lightning fast patterns that Xi easily dodged, Morgan was still wondering what was going on, but felt a familiar presence within him that brought his focus into being.
"We dont have time to argue, just focus on the fight ahead... some thing’s not right with Xet." Alpha’s phase like voice noted as Mu and Nu finally made their move.
"This might sting, but it’ll keep you bound till we find out what’s actually going on!" Mu shouted as her fist smashed away at Xet’s fog like armor, showing what appeared to be demons fluttering around in their prison.
"Follies… that’s all any of you are... if you wish me to tell you about the Fragments purpose and our ultimate goal... so being it!" Xet slashed Mu’s left arm and tripped Nu in his tracks, sending him careening off the edge of the Ring world he was on. Morgan simply got into position as Linheber scuttled off.
"And where do you think you’re going!?" Morgan shouted, the Demon Director’s eyes glinting in the distance.
"I was simply inspired to make the most of this situation. Believe me, there are better things to do than fight some person with emotional issues."
And with that, he was off. Morgan didnt like Linheber that much. Even less that he had simply decided to tag along. The Golden Strands did their work as it sent millions of tendrils at Xet’s spinning form, only to be cut down by the Fragments attack.
"Damn... Black Syrup, do your thing-"
"NOBODY COMMANDS THE PRINCE OF THE NIGHTMARE DIMENSION!" Resaec interrupted as he pointed a spider like finger at Xet. "Xi-rô màu ?en ?iên r?: Hoàng hôn nhân nh? chê?t ôm!" Resaec glanced nervously at the Bloody Strands, who seemed more intent on Morgan accepting her back into his trust than anything else.
"Foolish woman! Do nothing and we’ll be killed by your foolishness yet!" Linheber shouted at her.
The Bloody Strands simply nodded with a tiny bit of angst and shot straight into the sky, spreading over a vast and wide distance as she did so. "Damhsa dóiteáin: Tornados bladed an diabhal!"
Mu, Nu, and Xi simply sprouted a large cleaver like sword from their wrists and sliced away at Xet’s body, each wound they opened, the spheres of Qoph simply stitched together. "Have you learned nothing yet!? The Kreeg are nothing more than the linchpin to our imprisonment! If I kill Alpha or Omega, that means the Werbeh Consumate and the other will be free to resume our million years war!" Xet laughed snidely as the smoke lit on fire and instantly changed to five hundred billion petric tons of sharp steel, mad old people with tenis balls on their walkers, and keep off the lawn yard signs. "My army... go to them... and rip form them your pay!"
Morgan was not impressed in the least, Nordafet simply scoffed, and Antimo leaked hydraulic fluid all over the place. "Come on! We’ve faced stronger than this haven’t we?" Morgan yawned as the closest old person biffed him over the head with a newspaper. It wasn’t so much the lightness of the blow that bother the Lost Wolf, it was the fact that it was the sunday edition of the New York Times being swung at nearly four hundred miles an hour that had sent him to his knees.
"What the **** w..." he passed out before finishing the sentence. The old person snearing at him and telling him old war stories about a piece of cake and several denture pieces. Hours later, it was all over. Meaning that while Morgan had been knocked out, Antimo had created a five mile high screen from the dead old people’s tennis ball covered walkers and some pieces of duct tape he found floating around. Currently, they were all engrossed in a showing of Casablanca. Nordafet had been forced into being the usher and checking for tickets. He got punched in the crotch several hundred times, and by the three hundred sixty fifth time, he had developed a fetish for it. Antimo simply shook his head.
"Xet... your forces are defe-" a sharp peice of metal slammed him in the face, sending him off a nearby cliff. "Ouch… I guess not. Un mil globos de oro!"
The tiny orbs within his body shot out of him, making a basic copy of Antimo in the process. "Well, go take care of whatever the hell that is!" the copy ran off, but was simply overpowered by another flying sharp piece of metal.
Xet simply laughed. "Wow... That is **** pathetic. I would understand the old people being defeated by such a weak and undesirable little **** like yourself... But a copy going down two steps?"
"SHUT UP!" Antimo yelled as he punched Xet in the back of his head, cracking the metal plating that concealed his true form.
Nordafet summoned two tonfas and a rubber duck with a note from Linheber that told him to Meet him on the other side of the current Ring world. 'This better be good.' the Deom thought to himself as he allowed his body to sink through the earth, magma, and core until he reached the other side. It was barren, blank as the canvas of an uninspired painter and three times as rough. "Linheber! You want to tell me somehting?" he asked loudly, hoping to get this over with. He heard a bloodcurdling scream, rip through the air, and knew that it was either Linheber discovering a sale for tortured performance artists, or something actually bad was happening. Against his better judgement, Nordafet waited a few seconds just to be sure. The screaming happened again, and four times louder. "Something’s up... I need to go check it out."
Meanwhile, Mu, Nu, and Xi had managed to cut Xet off at the knees by peircing three of Qoph’s silver balls. They were broken and covered in bruises as Xet panted from the pain. "You don’t understand do you? The war has to continue! It will unleash her!" the Fragment screamed with further fervor.
Morgan didn’t waste any time with him, "?kami m?do o ushinatta!" he said with excitement. He had secretly been practicing new ways to summon up his Lost Wolf mode and found three very distinct approaches. The first being to stab himself in the leg with a plastic spork, the second was to punch himself in the arm till it was bruised, and the third was just to speak the words. He chose the third method out of concern for the recovery of his broken arm.
A familiar feeling rush over him as the black fur coat rushed over him. He felt the blazing red diamonds ripped from beneath his skin and gather electricity. His mind went blank for ten seconds as his punches crippled whatever good looks Xet was holding back. Blood seemingly dripped from his mouth as he roared in anger.
In the Dimension between Dimensions, Barney Fife screamed with rage as he gently helped himself to a cup of coffee that was strangling a chocolate Santa. The coffee screamed in deathly throes of pain and then went limp as Barney sucked down the last drop. The chocolate Santa simply slammed the Puppet King’s knee with a lead pipe, forcing the victim to calmly unwrap and eat the chocolate Santa. "Sorry, I’m a bit hungry at the moment." Barney Fifes eyes turned to Tina Door’s pale tea cup like face and decided to try something new.