The story so far:
The rooms for each of the Guardians were to their own tastes. For Captain Jake, it was a ocean simulator to help hone his captaining skills. While for Technarl, his room was simply a circuit board that he plugged into whenever he wasn’t needed in the meeting room. Gothemos however, did not have any decoration, theme, or color in his room. It was stark white, an infinite space for him to update his Gothic themed Livejournal account with sappy poems of darkness and depression. As he worked in the middle of his room, his skin tight, dark purple denim skater pants seemed to tear at the knees. His thin spider like finger tapped away at the key board with precision and speed. His black over gelled bangs with bright purple highlights seemed to block his vision. the door opened silently without Gothemos taking notice.
“My life is a dark oblivion, filled with the hatred of my so called peers that I can only describe as the angst of my youthful rebellion." he spoke to no one as Technarl creeped up behind him. “I feel like my heart is bleeding out to the worlds in my five Dimensions, crying out to the over populated moralities that plague our very minds. And that was when I went to this really badly done Emo mixer. God... My life is darkness." he spoke with a smile as the room went dark, and softly glowing purple hearts with stitches seemed to float around the room. “So what are you up to?" Technarl said out of curious thought. “I’m updating my Livejournal account... Oh.. but you Don’t care about social networks do you?" Technarl brushed a floating purple heart that had slapped him in the face. "What? I plug into them all the time. I’m on Facebook, Myspace, Friendster, Yahoo, AOL, Google Wave-" the Guardian of technology said with a soft affinity for Facebook.
"Heh," Gothemos chuckled. “I bet you play Farmville Don’t you?" the room instantly changed into a vast sprawling farmland, with cherry, apple, and lemon trees to the east and cattle, horses, and pigs to the south. The purple hearts still kept slapping Technarl in the face much to his annoyance. “So... I’ve been meaning to ask, what is the deal with your room?" the robotic Guardian asked as his pistons pumped the hydraulic fluid to his joints. “Oh, this? I thought you knew this already, but our rooms are in tune with our abilities. I’m able to make anything I think or write in my Emo Book appear. ANYTHING I want." Gothemos smiled as he patted his journal that sat next to him.
Technarl shrugged and left the room, thinking what a useless waste of time writing in a journal was. ‘Wait... he said anything at all... ANY thing?' the thought rebounded in his mind till his curious nature couldn’t help it. He slowly walked back into the room where Gothemos was still talking while he wrote away. “My heart is a dismal waste in the hopeless thoughts of my existence. So pitiful, that my friends on Livejournal don’t see me as the king of the Emo and Gothic cultures." Technarl continued to be slapped in the face by purple hearts, which had somehow evolved teeth in his absence. ‘I hate this room.' he thought to himself. “Oh, Gothemos! I have an idea!" he said in singsong tones. “No. My blood curdles with each entry I put through the mangling mix of societal rejects, and yet I yearn for the eternal suffering that I have been made charge of." Technarl felt the oil that ran through his viens start to freeze up. “Not good." he squeaked as the fluid seemingly backed up and shot from his mouth.
Gothemos took no notice of this and still continued. “Today, those cheerleaders from the girls only school told me I looked gay." Technarl suddenly found himself surrounded by beautiful women in tight fitting uniforms, shapely bodies, and bright white smiles. Then his confidence was crushed. “My god! Like, you look TOTALLY gay, and... to be honest.. I Don’t WANT to be seen with you, or, like, my friends might think less of me!" the cheerleaders giggled at his expense. ‘Oh... how can this get any worse?' Technarl thought to himself. He heard Gothemos next sentence and wished he hadn’t thought the question at all. "Also, that Kenderson dog, the one with those beady little eyes and that high pitched bark, and nasty sharp little teeth... it bit me on the crotch of my pants. Tore a hole in them... and then I got hit there by that jock Dereck Kemply. God I loathe him."
Technarl was crying tears of fear as a giant bulldog with a bright, frilly, pink bow on its collar, appeared in front of him as his body froze from lack of lubricant flowing into his joints. 'good doggy, nice doggy, pretty do-' before the Guardian of technology could move, the bulldog launched into a flurry of ripping the crotch off of Technarls body, then jsut to add insult to injury, it pranced around with the badly leaking crotch in its mouth, wagging its snail shell like tail. 'BAD DOGGY, HORRIBLE DOGGY, UGLY **** DOGGY! GIVE ME MY CROTCH BACK!' he thought loudly before realizing the bulldog had changed into a seventeen year old boy, with wavy brown hair, freckles that dotted his face, and a letterman jacket.
"HEY! NERD!" Dereck shouted from afar, “THIS YOUR CROTCH!?" Dereck finished with an evil smile. He held the crotch up to Technarls face and patted it gently as the Guardian had no other choice but to endure the coming blows. His fear turned to terror as he listened to Gothemos next sentence. "But Dereck didn’t just hit it with his fists, he bashed it in with bowling balls dropped from the tenth story window at his apartment. Ugh, I swear, someday I’ll get over the feeling of shards of glass being shoved into my pelvis." Technarl thought he heard Gothemos chuckle in silence, as if he knew what was going on behind him.
A ten story building rushed up in front of the unfortunate robot as Dereck, snidely laughing, dropped his still badly leaking crotch on the ground below before pulling out a bag of twenty five bowling balls, each weighing in at an astounding two hundred megatons. ‘OH. MY. ****. GOD! HE MUST BE ON THE **** JIUCE OF THE **** GODS!' Technarl panicked as Dereck smiled evilly to Technarl. "HEY, NERD! GET A LOAD OF THIS!" the crotch landing with a loud clang on the ground, as the bowling balls, reaching speeds that frankly scared Technarl half to death. ‘Oh... goody.' the Guardian thought to himself as the tears of terror turned into tears of sheer trauma.
The first ball struck the ground with the force of a hypernova, and the visuals to match as well. Technarl was crying from sheer frustration as the other twenty five bowling balls landed on the crotch that was leaking thick black oil, hydraulic fliud, and antifreeze. 'MY CROTCH! MY BEAUTIFUL CROTCH!' Technarl screamed inside his mind as the hypernovae sent the robotic crotch flying into the distance. He hated Gothemos more than anything, and wished he would die on the spot. But then he heard the worst part. Gothemos quietly typed on the keyboard while narrating.
"As hard as it was to walk, I couldn’t get far as an old man in a Barney suit gave me ten shots of tequila. I passed out, had terrible things done to me, and was then thrown off a bridge into oncoming traffic. It was only by this I realized that I should’ve stayed in bed, had the house caught on fire ten minutes after I left it." Technarl had become mortified at his possible future, but then the alarms rang out in the room, and everything had become relaxed again. “Oh... you were-" Technarl wasted no time in punching him hard in the face, knowing that it would be well worth the hell that Gothemos had just put him through. “THIS IS FOR MY **** CROTCH!" he screamed in fury as his fist connected with the Guardian of darkness and pains chin.
Segroth walked into the room and simply punched all the hearts that flew towards him, making them explode in showers of purple liquid. "We have more important matters to attend to then missing hardware problems. Technarl, repair your damage and report to the meeting room. There has been a strange occurence." the tenth Guardian said roughly, ignoring the last purple heart that slammed itself hard into the side of his face, making a sick slapping noise. “The Tingion prince has arrived, and that Human is helping him fight off the Colossus of Darkness."