Discussion of "The Assignment" by dogdeity11
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rico76sgirl 8 months, 1 week ago
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Awwww. I feel bad for this guy. Do give him something good in the next chapter, Dog. Gave you a 5. |
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RavenLebeau 8 months, 1 week ago
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I was shocked that this had preceeding chapters; I was actually going to compliment you on an excellent beginning :) I didn't read the preceeding ones, so I can't comment on them, I know this one is where you started. It provides just enough information to make it not-confusing, while leaving enough mystery to make it interesting. If this were the first chapter of a book, it would be compelling enough to impress an editor, I would think. Good characterization; the details about watching re-runs, eating crackers etc. give the reader a glimpse of your character's personality without compromising the narrative or seeming "tacked on." This is, of course, because you actually understand perspective (unusual!). Like the other chapter I commented on, this one would sound great read aloud, although it doesn't have the sing-song quality some of your work does. The tone and style you use here are fresh and interesting, but the verbiage doesn't get distracting... one could easily read a full-length book in this style. (Not that your other style is bad, just that it's appropriate to shorter pieces... kind of like a commercial versus a movie. What's entertaining for a minute is different than what's enjoyable for two hours. You seem to know which is which; that gives you much versatility.) |
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dogdeity11 8 months, 1 week ago
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Thanks RavenLebeau. I really appreciate the comments! |
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writerwannabe 7 months, 2 weeks ago
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How did I miss this? Easy, I say to myself, it was written around the time I joined the website and it's part of that "never ending" (let us pray) series of chapters that keeps getting better and better! I noticed it when I took a peek at the "contest" page. Absolutely fabulous, so, I gave ya a boost up the contest ladder with a 5 vote!! |
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theblackhand 7 months, 2 weeks ago
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Great work. I wish you well for this contest. Your writing deserves it. 5 votes from me all the way..... |
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