want to participate?
login or register
The third round winner of the writing contest will be announced on StoryMash Radio. Tune in! Everyone is welcome to call in and discuss the writing contest, or any other StoryMash topic. The call-in number is: (347) 324-3238

Discussion of "The Assignment" by dogdeity11


2 rico76sgirl 8 months, 1 week ago Reply

Awwww. I feel bad for this guy. Do give him something good in the next chapter, Dog.

Gave you a 5.


  hidden comment from rico76sgirl with score of 2
2 RavenLebeau 8 months, 1 week ago Reply

I was shocked that this had preceeding chapters; I was actually going to compliment you on an excellent beginning :) I didn't read the preceeding ones, so I can't comment on them, I know this one is where you started. It provides just enough information to make it not-confusing, while leaving enough mystery to make it interesting. If this were the first chapter of a book, it would be compelling enough to impress an editor, I would think.

Good characterization; the details about watching re-runs, eating crackers etc. give the reader a glimpse of your character's personality without compromising the narrative or seeming "tacked on." This is, of course, because you actually understand perspective (unusual!).

Like the other chapter I commented on, this one would sound great read aloud, although it doesn't have the sing-song quality some of your work does. The tone and style you use here are fresh and interesting, but the verbiage doesn't get distracting... one could easily read a full-length book in this style. (Not that your other style is bad, just that it's appropriate to shorter pieces... kind of like a commercial versus a movie. What's entertaining for a minute is different than what's enjoyable for two hours. You seem to know which is which; that gives you much versatility.)


  hidden comment from RavenLebeau with score of 2
1 dogdeity11 8 months, 1 week ago Reply

Thanks RavenLebeau. I really appreciate the comments!


  hidden comment from dogdeity11 with score of 1
2 writerwannabe 7 months, 2 weeks ago Reply

How did I miss this? Easy, I say to myself, it was written around the time I joined the website and it's part of that "never ending" (let us pray) series of chapters that keeps getting better and better! I noticed it when I took a peek at the "contest" page. Absolutely fabulous, so, I gave ya a boost up the contest ladder with a 5 vote!!


  hidden comment from writerwannabe with score of 2
2 theblackhand 7 months, 2 weeks ago Reply

Great work. I wish you well for this contest. Your writing deserves it. 5 votes from me all the way.....


  hidden comment from theblackhand with score of 2
Add Comment