i…

  Anthony walked into the bar and immediately spotted his buddy Abe situated at a round table near the center of the room. Anthony scanned around and saw that the place was pretty dead. One, maybe two hot chicks. With a sigh he made his way toward Abe.

“What up Dawg.” Abe welcomed his childhood best friend.

“Hey man, sorry I’m late. I was picking up some cigarettes for Ray.”

“Ah, haa. Dude, you is so pussy whipped. And over a girl that you aint never gonna get no pussy from too.” Abe continued to laugh.

Anthony ignored him. He was used to it. The waitress came over wearing a low cut Steelers t-shirt. Anthony ordered a Jack and coke.

“Look man, I’m sorry for bustin’ your balls, but you gots to move on. This girl aint gonna give it up. She married, right?”

“Yea, she’s married. But I swear Abe, I’m so close. I can taste it dude. I mean…she comes over every night. We lay on the couch together and hold hands. The entire relationship is there…”

“Except for the part where you get your dick wet.” Abe offered as he drained the last of his Heineken light. 

Anthony frowned. “I just need something to get her over that hump, ya know. She is so close bro. I just have to find the right words or the right situation.” 

“You should tell her you’ve come into a large sum of money.”

The waitress delivered Anthony’s drink and he took a large gulp while he rolled his eyes at Abe. 

“I’m being serious dawg. Look, you want to nail this chick right?”

Anthony nodded.

“Ok then, you know the path to every woman’s pussy is paved with dolla bills. You just tell her your aunt died or something and left you like, I don’t know, a mil or so and I guarantee, she will be in the sack with you in a heartbeat.”

“Ya, and then what? What happens when she finds out I’m lying?”

Abe laughed. “Who **** cares dude. By that time you done got what you want.”

Anthony took another deep swallow.

“Look, you don’t love this skirt do you?”

Anthony wrinkled his nose and squinted his eyes. “Love? No, not hardly. She’s just some stupid little white trash bitch from a trailer park.”

“That’s what I’m saying…so make the little ho think that you got some mad dough and she will be ripping your clothes off.”

Anthony stared at the big screen TV in the corner, pretending to be interested in some basketball news. But his mind was racing. It was a good idea.  Women did love money. The big question was, ‘Was it worth it?’ He absolutely did want to nail her. In fact, he had to or his dick was literally going to explode. But didn’t he care about her more than that? Didn’t he…

“Hey A-Train, I got it. I just remembered, this buddy of mine named Daryl, he makes fake lottery tickets.”

“Yea.” Anthony responded half-heartedly. “Sounds highly illegal.”

“He don’t try and use them dude. He just likes to **** with people. He prints them out and then leaves them laying around at bars and restaurants and ****. He even gave one to his brother’s wife for her birthday. Bitch actually pissed her pants she was so excited when she thought she won. Over 100 million.”

“Damn dude, that’s just cruel.”

“No homie, that’s just funny. And I’m telling you, you get that little skank over and you show her a winning lottery ticket worth a mil or so and she will be all yours.”

Anthony tilted his glass back and drained the last of the smooth liquid courage.

“Ok Abe. I have to admit, this is actually a pretty good idea. Call your friend and have him print me out a winner.”