The story so far:
I'm wanted all over the world by the very people that I've shoved squirrels into. And not the type that you find in the parks, innocently munching on the peanuts that you buy in New York. No sir, not me. I go to the deepest parts of Germany. The darkest, most sexually crazy part of it. Yeah, you know the one... Don't you?
It's that little part of the world where anything goes, from inserting a hose attached to a vat of jello so forcefully you sneeze cherry flavoring for a week, to making a horse wear a tutu while a cracked out, psychotic, bald headed monkey slaps your junk with a fully charged tazer.
Yeah... that part.
They call me "Anal Squirrels" McGee, the worst of the worst. I buy my squirrels ready for action, fully clothed in suits that vibrate so much, you'd think Jesus was making his grand entrance back into the world out of your ****.
I've anal squirreled everyone I can think of, Ed Lerly, goverment officials, secret service guys, the military, 007, Santa Clause, the whole state of Utah. You heard me.
The WHOLE state of Utah.
Yeah. I thought that too until I met her.
"Vagina Pirate" Megan.
Be glad I'm not her.
she uses real cannon balls.