Discussion of "Be Gentle with Yourself" by dawn_land
dawn_land 5 years, 4 months ago
You can tell me you HATED it - that's cool. Just tell me something. This isn't really my genre, as I think you can all tell.
hidden comment from dawn_land with score of 1
inuitennui 5 years, 4 months ago
This chapter is a 3 that desperately wants to be a 4- a 3 that wears 4's old clothing and treasures 4's childhood belongings, a chapter that parts its hair like a 4 and redefines its musical tastes to suit such status. In short, it succeeds at great effort to do what comes naturally to a 4, which is metphorically why it's still a 3.
The Likely Needless: This is my review of THE CHAPTER, not you as THE AUTHOR. You're 4's & 5's all week long, and twice on Sunday. Everyone says so.
To begin, "I NEVER MET THE WRITER" is a great line. The narrator's approach of addressing the departed amidst the list of He's is enjoyable. However, towards the end of the chapter my perception of the You's was torn between The Departed and The Abstract. I get that this is intentional (upon depletion of the He's, I becomes You and You becomes He,) but it's also confusing. There are a few spelling errors as well. It wraps up a bit quickly.
I didn't (and don't and shan't,) hate this. Writing against accustomed genre is indeed challenging, and I applaud such efforts.
hidden comment from inuitennui with score of 2