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Discussion of "Scarred" by darabre


1 OrphicEgg 6 years ago Reply

It is quite well written. I'd like to see where you go with this should you decide to continue it.


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2 darabre 6 years ago Reply

Thanks!!!! I plan on writing a few more chapters to go with it, I just haven't gotten around to yet.


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1 Silver 6 years ago Reply

First, I like this. You make the man seem real, and make me want to know his story. That said, your writing feels a little bit rushed. One thing that could help would be to break it down into paragraphs that don't contain so many different thoughts, and then expand on the individual thoughts a little bit. Keep up the good work, and please, write more of this story.


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1 darabre 6 years ago Reply

thanks for the advice, i tend to naturally talk and think in a rapid fire way jumping from one topic to the next. maybe i have a touch of add.lol. but i will definitly try to work on pacing.


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1 Silver 6 years ago Reply

Oh, and is the title meant to be s-c-a-r-r-e-d, as in having a permanent disfiguring mark, or s-c-a-r-e-d, as in frightened? Seems like either would fit, but I had to ask since both characters are scared at the beginning.


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1 darabre 6 years ago Reply

scarred as in a permanent disfiguring mark.


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1 wolfram 6 years ago Reply

Beautiful writing, darabre. I was hooked by your characters who seem very real. My only criticism is, it feels way too short to be a chapter. It's like a beautiful beginning and the rest just seems missing. I had to double-check to make sure this was published and not just a draft. Why so short?


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1 darabre 6 years ago Reply

i am in the process of writing more, i just haven't finished it up yet. I will keep adding chapters to carry on with the story. I am glad you liked it. It was my first attemp on the site and I just kind of wanted to see some responses before i invested a lot of time on it..


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