Discussion of "The alley" by darabre

Pretty good start. Your descriptive language made me feel the character's anxiety. Not bad.

Wow, that's a tense little piece, love the descriptions. Nice work!

Brutal. Nice descriptive language.
I’m confused though as to how this is happening on “a busy street in the middle of the day?”

well, he threw her down the alley and its supposed to be dark back there. The kind of place you avoid looking at when your in a big city, scared of what you'll see in there. I can see it in my head, but if you can't than i didn't do a good enough job describing it. I'll try harder, thanks,

No, you did a fine descriptive job. I can see it! There are tons of those tiny little dark alleys in big cities. It just struck me that she wasn’t fighting or screaming, when people were so close by. If she screamed, certainly a crowd would gather in the alley way?
But don’t sweat it…just my opinion. I thought the chapter was very well written and it gave me the shivers

okay, i see one of the problems, i described the alley as small when i meant narrow. Small makes it seem shallow too close to the main road.

Great start! Very descriptive narrative. Very visual. Characters are very real. OK, so I used "very" a lot...lol. I'm going to read chapter two and comment further (without so many very's...no matter what!)