I really liked this story!!!! Lara is a very believable character and I really want to know the rest of her story. I liked that the store owner was german instead of the usual convience store owner cliche. Also can't wait to see how it develops.....awaiting the next chapter.....

"Say it.....out loud"
"Vampire"

this story was kind of interesting untill it turned into a twilight knockoff. you should go back to the point where they are waiting for the bus and write....something else. Hey I love twilight as much as the next girl but stephenie meyers already wrote that one. You have interesting characters, but just one thing identical twins can't be male/female. they would be fraternal twins.

I liked it, but i was also disturbed by her inviting kids to her house by themselves. Even if her motives are pure, but maybe that's why she's gonna die. hmm interesting.

Hebe, it actually is a prologue to a story I am in the middle of writing. I promise there is a lot more. Thanks for reading!!

I liked it. It was well written, your writing has an urgency that just sort of propells you to the next line. Cool.

This was really great!! A little disturbing in some parts (turning the shirt inside out made me gag). I always enjoy really good writing because I see it like a movie in my head instead of words on a page, this made a very vivid movie. I give it a 5

There are no bells in college, at least not at any of the colleges I have attended. Other than a few spelling and grammatical errors, not bad. so is something up with her partner Alba? I thought maybe her prof. was looking strangly because he knew something.

I liked this a lot. It was very descriptive and I can just see that mom staring into that hamper. Can't wait to read more.

I was wondering if english was not your first language? The way this is written reminds me of a russian guy I used to know, his english sounded pretty much the same.

Loved it!! it is so funny, I would love to read more.