Discussion of "A girl who was really shy" by dallasandme
haihazan 4 years, 12 months ago
uhh...is the format intentional?
i was just a bit confused when the POV was switched in the middle because there wasn't a break in the paragraph. i also don't understand some of th things that was happening in th story but maybe if the formatting s changed it'd be easier to understand.
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ridiculosaur 4 years, 12 months ago
the format definitely makes it hard to read.
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ImLostWithoutYou 4 years, 12 months ago
This was good Amina. But like the others said, you should hit enter everytime a different person speaks. If you would like you could send me your story and I could edit it for you! ANYwho! I guess I'll see you tomorrow!! *nudge* And guess who you will see tomorrow!! *wink*
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hebe6405 4 years, 12 months ago
There are far too many spelling mistake and errors to make this anywhere near enjoyable to read. There's nothing here to make this a story. Punctuation is missing all over the place. Sentence structure is mind boggling. I don't thing adding paragraph interupts will help the "format" as there is no clear structure to anything... it's a flow of conscious thought, but it's so tedious to read that I regret having wasted my time on trying to see if there was anything salvageable.
"plz" is NOT a word. Abrieviating words as if you're sending a text message to a buddy does not send a good message to the reader.
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