The Fashion Police

Those rumpled mounds of clothing

NOW they are laundry

…magically transformed

For its “once” times worn

To cover my nakedness

Accentuate my lumpiness

With restricting waist bands

Their fashion brands -- burned into my

“Statement of Elegance”

Report card of how cool I am

Make a wardrobe plan that

Fits into my agenda

That taxed me no demerits

From the society of my friends

Or “would-be” friends

Who laugh and look down their

Fashion-trained “Seal Act” noses at you

For not knowing and fully missing the “memo”

About how pant legs were too wide or tight

Too short or framed your **** like Sponge Bob

Then break their arms from too much strain

Patting themselves on the back too hard

They live to shop again