Discussion of "universal cover up (2)" by chloe

I like the way you've described how the character feels and thinks..it takes it forward from the first chapter and emphasizes the loneliness she feels. The twist at the end is rather interesting too. But, I also wish there was more "happening" in the story. It doesn't take the story too much forward except for the phone call. Otherwise a well-written chapter.

Thanks VinnieP. Looking back you're probably right. I tried to keep the sort of tone of the first chapter, I guess it reads more like a cahracter study.Hope someone picks up the original chapter- ericswyatt wrote a great start.

Now that's a mash!

First of all, as an insurance salesman myself, I was a bit offended by that line...
:-)

And, I have to say, THAT ending has my curiosity piqued!

Who on earth would do THAT for Annabelle?!?

Thanks Ericswyatt and my deepest apologies for the insurance comment! Some of my best friends sell insurance! lol! I really liked your chapter and kept thinking that underneath all that "biegeness" Annabelle still had some spunkiness lying dormant and maybe even a checkered past. I was hoping you would continue Chapter one. Happy Writing!
Chloe

Oh, I'm working to continue the story...I'm not sure where I'll post it though...I'd like to keep it for my own site or something, likely.

Annabelle with a checkered past?!? well, yes. everyone has one, really, on some level, and she's no different. in my reality, though, her checkered past doesn't come knocking on the door or calling on the phone! :-)